Love Marriage Relationships Oh My

As I was listening to Chris Augusts "Restore " the other day, it really got me thinking about how much of that song is true. But many people dont get to the last part where he talks about needing God. Most people just give up. Game over. Move on and never think twice. That bothered me for a long time until I myself found myself a divorced single mom. This man I had known and loved for almost 7 years was choosing to end our marriage. When I stood in church in front of our friends and families, we said vows. Those meant something to me but I guess marriage cant work one way. Instead of him talking to me about it, he figured if he were to have an affair then I would surely call it quits. However I fought but it was useless. 

The marriage being over was for the best and I know according to God's words that it was okay for me to get a divorce in this situation. But it still felt like I was letting a lot of people down. I knew it was over but that took me a long time to accept given that he was still off with the girl and I was home alone depressed. But God gave me the strength I needed through a little boy named Drew. And life went on.

It went on when I reconnected with my old school boyfriend from elementary school through Facebook. We texted for a while and then he asked me out. Our first date was Jan 2010, Engaged in May 2010 and Married in Sept 2010. Now I finally understand the institution of marriage is really about and how much God is the center of it. 3 years and counting and I can see it lasting forever.

People in my family know the importance of marriage and I grew up knowing loving parents, loving grandparents. My grandparents have been married for 60 years. Next year, my parents will celebrate 40 years and this week my sister and her husband will celebrate 14 years of marriage. This is what I grew up knowing. Marriages that lasts through thick and thin. Me and Ramon look up to each of these people and know thats where we are going to end up one day. 

I dont know a couple of things. I dont know why people dont treat marriage as they should. I dont know why God put me through the heartache. But he gave me a beautiful son and now a marriage built off of trust, love, honesty, and God. He loves me when Im down and he loves me when Im happy. We can sit on different sides of the room and read or do our own thing but the entire time. Im loving him. 

He has been there for me more than anyone and I only have to thank God for that. He loves Drew and would do anything for either one of us. He may not have come from a steady family but I think he learned what not to do instead. I love him more than the day I met him. And I like forward to the rest of our lives together. 

Dear Drew

Drew,
 
    I could not believe the day I found out I was pregnant. I could not believe the day when they told me you were a peanut and I was 6 weeks along and to come to find out, I was already 12 weeks along! I could not believe when I was admitted to the hospital and finding out something was not going as planned. I could not believe when they told me I was being rushed to the operating room. I could not believe the day would come where I kissed you on your forehead and watched you leave the room. I could not believe the first time I got to hold you and the amount of love I already had for you. I could not believe the day when our future was changed. I could not believe that you, even at 1 month old, would teach me things in the months that came. I cannot believe the obstacles that have come your way and the way you dealt with them with such ease and confidence. I could not believe how big you looked your first day of Preschool and then your second year. And now as you start Kindergarten, I cannot believe how much of a grown boy you are turning into. I cannot believe how fast this has all this gone by...

But what I can believe is this. I believe that my pregnancy was a gift and a blessing from God. He knew what was planned and that I needed someone to help me through it. And for me, that person was you. I believe that having you so early was a blessing to show me that despite odds, anyone can make it through anything difficult. I needed someone to show me how to be strong and to fight, even now. And for me, that person is you. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and God does know what he is doing. I needed someone that believed me and whose love would not wavier even in my darkest times. For me, that person was you. I believe that even when your life is not going the way you planned, that God has a plan. I needed someone to be there with me every step of the way, and for me that person was you. I believe that no matter the " living situation " or the back and forth between parents, that it does not matter because you have an overwhelming amount of love and support that surrounds you every day. I needed to you to know that we are doing the best for you and that I was doing what was best. Through your actions, love, joy. and laughter, you are proving me to every day, that I am doing my best. And whenever I doubt, you are the person that makes me smile and believe again.

And lastly,
I hope that the love you have been given and the love you share will get you through all of your days, even the tough ones. Because there will be tough ones. But just know, you will always have a pair of arms waiting to hug you when you come home.
I hope that make friends and even girlfriends. Ha. Some of these friends may end up being your best friends for life. I can only wish that for you because good friends are hard to find and best friends are even harder. Just dont break too many of the little girls' hearts..
I hope that you take every opportunity to learn as much as you can. I know its an old saying, but a good education does indeed take you far in life.
I hope you dream. I hope you love. I hope you laugh. I hope you know that God is with you each and every step.

I cannot put into words how much I love you and how proud of you I am. I am ever so thankful for God for placing you in my life. And always remember, that no matter how big you get, you will always be my baby.

Love,
Mommy