Lifes About Changing Nothing Ever Stays The Same

I remember reading a book or watching movies about kids moving away and having to say goodbye to their best friends. I was lucky to never have to face that until graduation. Even then it was expected so saying goodbye was bound to come. It's when you don't see it coming or even when you know it's going but you try to drag it out and put it in the back of your mind. And then when it comes. When that night before you have to say goodbye comes. it hits you like a wrecking ball.
I know technology has made it so easy keep in touch. With texting, FaceTime, its harder not to keep in contact. But its not the same. Hearing someones voice over the phone is not the same as talking to them. Telling them goodbye over the phone is not the same as a hug. The places we always went and ate won't be the same. The games we used to play. The shows we used to watch. None of it. Everything will have a good memory attached to it. But it will hurt. I don't know how long. But it will hurt. To fight for something so hard and watch it eave is one of the toughest things I will ever encounter. All I want is for him to happy. And he has to leave to do so. And I can say that to him and to anyone anytime when deep inside its a whole different ballgame.
I never knew I would fall in love again. I never knew Id be so lucky to meet someone so amazing who has turned my life around. And even though we couldn't really date, he became best friend. Someone I could depend on time after time for anything. The day he asked me to move in is a day I will never forget. But the timing wasn't right. And we both knew it was coming. It was like if I wasn't dragging it out, he was. And now tomorrow. as I say goodbye and hug and kiss him for the last time, Im gonna walk away thankful that I was able to have in my life. And thankful that he still will be. But Im gonna walk away with tears because we al have that selfish part of us that wants what we want. Its gonna be a tough days to come. And while he may never know how much he has has meant to me I have done everything to tell and show him. I hope Texas treats him well. I hope he finds what he needs and most of all I hope he's happy. Me? Ill survive. I have in the past and I will now. Just something else for me to get over. In time, I know I will. In time...

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