Write! And Whats Up This Week=)

Hey guys!! So I am running on complete no sleep energy.. I went to bed at 10.. got up at 2 and then back to sleep at 3 and then back up at 4.. and been awake since. I have been editing some photos to put on here to let you all know what I have been doing.. I know you all are so interested but you are reading this so I am thinking you just may be interested. So yesterday I got my stent yanked out but it is out!! It bothered me some last night after church and then it got okay. And then, oh about 15 minutes ago, it started hurting really bad. I had so much stuff I wanted to get accomplished today but looks like its gonna fall on tomorrow and this weekend. It will get done. It will. I am like the little engine that could.. and I just keep telling myself.. it will get done. It will get done. Okay.. so  we wil see..
So as far as the other big part of our summer.. includes a small group at our church called " The Real Marriage. " I am not going into detail about anything because this is not the place. However I do want to keep you in the loop.. its a great study and we are only on week 1 but we are both looking forward to it. This is the first marriage study we have done together and the first one I have ever done period. We just felt led to participate. There was no if ands or buts about it. And for the reason that God has thrown so many obsticales at us. I feel like we have been through more the last 2 years than most couples have been. Between job losses, finances, sicknesses. surgeries.. we keep getting our hands dealt. And not good hands. But through it all, even though there have been times my faith has been shaken, we have stood together. We have tried to keep God the center and we know we have to if we are going to face everything head on. We are dealing with stuff now but we are still here. We still have the love for each other and I love him more every day. I knew this was a study for us and I am looking forward to diving deep in it with each other and learn. God is our teacher. We listen and learn from him. The 11 weeks ahead of us are going to be challenging at some times but also holding hands through it is what will keep us going. So that pretty much sums up what I guess Session 1 is about but I am not going to do this every week.. I just felt the need to share what I just did.. guess I had a reason to write after all.
So moving forward. I guess I have always had it in me to write. I kept diaries even when I was in grade school. ( I still have them.. but there location is MIA at the moment.. but I know there are floating somewhere.. ) Anyhow.. I found this journal while I was in Gatlinburg called " Memories : Our Family Journal " I didnt get it and I regreted it because then I could not find it. Finally after a lot of searches on Google, I finally found it. And the company makes so many different sorts of journals. Its pretty cool. And if I had it in front of me, I would tell you the company. But you know whats not gonna happen. So anyhow, I love it for the fact that every page is labeled with different things to write. Such as news, events. happenings, memories of the day, prayers and concerns.. and on the back is a whole page for family notes. And every page is the same. So I love that. And its just happened that I got it about a week before the Boston bombings and then the tornados that just hit.. so there has been a lot to write down. Not to mention the stuff that we have done as a family. I love it!!
So thats about it.. Im done sitting in this chair so I guess laundry and then the couch for a bit. Then going to go see my parents and hang out for a while. I hope you all are having a great day / week!

Until next time..

I have no title

Sometimes you just dont have a title to a post.. it doesnt mean its bad, just means I have no title. So yeah.. thats gonna be this post's title.
Okay.. so it is about midnight on this lovely Saturday night and due to my late getting our sheets into the dryer, we are just now turning in for the night. Well, Ramon is at least. I have no sleepiness in my body yet.  So here we go again.. however YoutTube will love me because I just end up watching beauty vlogs and funny moments from Boy Meets World ( I love that show.. ) and other stuff. So I thought I would come in here and write a little. So if you read yesterdays post number 1, you will know I had a lot of built up stuff that I was getting out. As the day progressed, it got better. And then today, I had this weird like crazy energy. I was talking really weird and making my son laugh his head off and then breaking into random song ( not real songs.. just songs I made up lol.. okay.. thats embarrasing ) after each phrase I would say. I was like a walking weird comedy act. It was quite amusing. And Im sure if you ask Ramon he will just laugh. I seriously went on a talking phase for like a good hour. I dont even know what or whom I was talking to or about. I was just talking. It is weird how this built up stuff comes out sometimes. But I can say it was better than the whole anger thing. And Im sure my furniture and non living stuff appreciated it a little more. Okay..
So I had a lot of " really?" things today. You know, when you are faced with something weird and you are like " really?" I was DVRin the top 100 Breakthough Performances and it got to number 50 and stopped. I didnt miss any episodes. It just wasnt on there. Im expecting they are going to finish next week but " really "? That was quite annoying. I did however enjoy it and got some new ideas for songs for my IPod. ( Because when you get the chance to download some new songs, my mind goes blank and I cant think of any!! ) Thanks FUSE Channel for helping and then leaving me with a " really "? Aauugghh
And then while I was digging up some plants, our previous owners had put landscaping fabric down. Now I used to work at Lowes and would help people with this I highly suggested it because it does help keep weeds at bay. And it indeed had worked in this case as well. ( Love you all so dont take this the wrong way ) ( Yea we knew the previous owners.. ) BUT when you are digging up the plants that have been there so long, the fabric makes it almost inpossible to break through. " Really "? And I said that many times today. Maybe its the plants saying.. ha ha. You shouldnt dig me up and thats what you get. I really think they were laughing at me. And then I have my 5 year old son saying, " Mommy you shouldnt be doing this. You have a stent." But no, I go on and do it anyhow. And yes Im paying for it and its getting worse by the minute but I have a high tolerance for pain.. but ouch. I really should have listened to my son and husband. And I wonder where Drew gets his stubborness from.. oops. The one trait I had to pass on to him..
But my rose bush got planted ( my second one.. the first one I got last year for Mothers Day ) it looks sooo pretty..

I do have a picture of the final product, however it is in the other room and Im good where Im at... lol

So we had a good family day. Drew had fun with this Powerwheel and drawing all over the concrete and helping me.. and taking the rocks out of the dirt with his trucks and piling them in the garage..Yeah gonna have to put those back.
So while I could jabber on and on right now, I will spare you. Heres to a good night sleep.

Much love=)

PS--My blog is almost at 2000 views.. may not be seem like a lot but I think its pretty awesome=) Thanks!!

Oohh memories

So yes tonight was a definite walk down memory lane. The elementary school which I spent 5 years of my life is getting torn down this summer. It is sort of bittersweet. I see the need for a new school but seeing part of your past torn down is hard. And not to mention it is where I indeed met Ramon. Ms Hall's 4th grade class. He says I was too busy being a teacher's pet and talking that I did not pay attention to him. However, I did. In both 4th and 5th grade. As a matter of fact, I wrote in my diary waaay back then about him. So he cannot argue this point. I indeed tried to talk to him. It was him that would not talk back. LOL.. Anyhow the rest is history. And walking through those halls reminded me of how simple life was back then. We did our homework by hand. We respected others and our teachers. We used manners. ( most of the time.. ) We made friends. And some who are still friends to this day. We had loving families who were there for almost if not all of our programs. We were kids. We weren't expected to be all grown up, even as 5th graders. Some of my best memories are from that school. I can look at the yearbook and tell you the names of almost everyone without looking at the names. We have watched everyone grow up ( with the help of Facebook ) get married, and have kids of their own. Still the memories linger.. And we have lost some classmates. They will never be forgotten. And I will always go back in my mind and remember times we all shared together.
So yea, it is bittersweet. But though the building and materials are going to be gone and years from now a lot of people wont even remember what the building looked like, the memories won't be. Nobody can tear those down. I only hope Drew has the same experience that I did throughout school. I hope he makes new friends. I hope he respects his teachers and everyone. I hope he mistakes, because thats how you learn. I hope he knows he has a loving family behind him in no matter what he does. That is my wish for him. It may be simple, but I like the simple sorts of stuff. I guess I am a simple girl=) And I hope to make it a simple world as much as I can for Drew. =)

Central, thanks for the memories. I will cherish them always!

Much Love=)

Nerves of Steel....

I am not even sure I am going to post this so if I do just beware.. its a lot of ranting. However this is my escape. My way of letting everything go and be said. There are only 2 ways that I can get rid of this stress and my nerves just so freakin tight that I want to scream and throw something across the room... and the 2 ways are 1) PRAY and 2) WRITE.
So the reason I am not sure about posting this is because I have promised to make these blog entires about different stuff and not about my life and situation. But sometimes, its good to be real. And I like being real. It helps me get out what I need to. So here goes..
Everyone knows I dont have a job. My unemployment is on hold right now.. at least until Monday so Ramon and I are.. well you  know the saying.. I dont feel the need to write it. But do you ever let something get to you so bad that you think you are good. That everything is fine and as long as you have a smile on your face that its okay. You know you are going to make it through it and you just keep going the best you can. And then something tips it. That little thing that has been sitting there waiting to cross the line into serious nerve breakdown. Well yea. For me, it was a little thing called a haircut. My hair needs cut. Like seriously. Like so bad I cannot do a thing about it. I would rather just stick on a hat everywhere. And I am not brave enough to try and trim it myself. I mean I guess it couldnt get any worse. Okay, so I may be exaggerating a little. But the whole point, is that I was really looking forward to it looking nice again. And I had to cancel. Because we cannot afford it. And that peoples, is the tipping of the whatever that just started to eat at my nerves today. And thank goodness I have not had anything in my hand or it would have been thrown across the room. So to say that I am on edge today is probably an understatement. So what do I do to not be so angry and grumpy and yelling at everything in my house even though there are no living things with me right now... yea that is sort of embarassing.. however.. what do I do? Besides cry I sit and I literally shake. Im serious. When I say my nerves are pushed I think they are literally shaking inside my body. so then I PRAY and I WRITE. So while I will look back at this post later and probably regret posting it.. I am going to anyhow. I like to be real with you all and this is what is happening right now. So Im blabbering however, I feel some better. I guess as long as I dont look in the mirror and then I think, oh crap! I have to pick my son up at school so I have to look decent. And then I think , oh crap! I have somewhere to be tonight and possibly see people I havent seen in a while and of course I have to look better than decent. Crud. Just crud.
So I know some people say this to take this and turn it in to something productive. Okay. No. Thats not happening. People that say crazy things like that have never possibly had to cancel a haircut. I mean because is what it comes down to. Okay, call me crazy. But I really dont know what else could happen. And as soon as I say that, something else will. This whole life throwing us things is not too good. I mean it really has thrown everything at us and we are catching it and wishing I could throw it back. Not at anyone but just throw it back. You name it, its probably happened. And not just over time but like in the last 2 weeks or even shorter time frame than that. And when it all bottles up inside of you, its going to explode sometime. And I guess this morning was time for it to go off. So as for the rest of the day, I just feel sorry for the non living things in my house because they are going to experience the worst of it. And they will see me cry. And they will hear me scream for no reason. ButI guess its good that all of this will pass before I go get my son and my husband comes home and then we head out. Maybe I can put makeup on without looking at my hair. Because of course, it will probably spark something again.
Okay.. so thats it. Dont judge. I am sure everyone has these days and that everyone can relate somehow. I just write and get it out. I have always done that. Maybe I shouldnt have done it on here but oh well. Luckily my faith in God is strong. And there are several verses from the Bible that I keep repeating in my head to calm me down. I know he is looking over us. And I know that through friends and family. I will never understand why we just keep getting hit over the head so many times but there is a reason. And one day, I hope to see it. So as I continusly pray today and cry and scream, my faith will not be shaken. I will not let it be. So as bad as this post may sound, know that inside, is God. Is faith. Is love. Is understanding. Is confused. But is also loved. And also loves back. Is passionate about so many things. Is going to be okay. And is much less stressful than I was at the beginning of this post. Its going to be alright.

Much love=)

YouTube and my Addiction

So I have no clue what I even wrote about last time. All I know is I promised I would write more and here it is.. not quite a month.. but geez. I am trying to confront the room where this computer is located into an office/craft space and well it has sort of a mix between the 2 and it needs some serious TLC but it seems easier just to close the door. Its not dirty and I know where things are.. so this computer gets alienated at times. Good thing for the IPad because my labtop is still sitting on stuck until we get it fixed. Most of the blogs from previous times were done from the comfort of my couch due to health reasons.
Yes if you dont know , I received yet another stent last time. I go back on May 22nd to see where to go from there. That is all.
Vacation is only a little bit over a month from now! Thank goodness for my parents and the reason we get to to go . This girl needs some time away and even out of the state. I think I deserve it.. well I guess they do too=)

So this blog is not going to be another like down on my luck blog because until noted otherwise, just consider it okay that we still are. There is no use harping on it because that is not going to change the story. You all know the story and not much has changed. Feel free to read previous blogs if you arent familiar..

So with that being said, I thought I would touch on a couple of things that exist on the internet that I havent really ever dove into because of time and just never knew it was sooo popular. We are talking about.. YouTube. Now dont faint. I knew it was out there and I knew some very funny videos came from it. I have been to the site and even have it as my app. And yes I even use have used it for half of the songs on my ITunes.. ( hey when you are a music lover like me and are on budget, you do what do what you have to do... dont judge=) ) And so my discovery came about by a mistake one day. I was looking on Facebook on something and it mentioned someones YouTube Channel. Oh. I must have really been out of the loop because I didnt know channels existed. I always saw the little blue subscribe button but never hit it. And after some real research I have found by us hitting that button can get people paid. Yes. In real dollars. Basically if you have a hobby then YouTube has channels for you. And while yes they are going to begin charging, most channels I watch have boycotted that and was like, no, thats crazy. And are still very much free. If you are going to make a purchase that you are unsure about or between, type it in YouTube. More than likely someone has reviewed it already and unlike reading about it, you can actually see it. It makes a huge difference. Now the channels I watch are more or less in the same category. That category being channels that my husband finds very boring. I watch craft, beauty and like home related stuff. Now before you start saying, oh these are useless, you need to watch before you judge. I have found so many creative ways to organize my stuff and clean my stuff while spending hardly anything. And the good thing, is that these people put up new videos often so I can always go back and on my home page, there they are.. its simply amazing. And then from those channels.. you find others and so on and so on and so on.. So while yes there are still bad thing, I have found more of the good. Okay, some of the channels are for pure enjoyments such as the beauty channels just because I love to hear people talk about beauty things and then there is the guy I watch who posts worldly weird news and spins it so it is hillarious.. but there are those that are informational in which I gather important information from... okay so I cant help it if the other channels just seem to post more and just happen to be more of. It takes my mind off a lot that is going on and a lot that I am dealing with and if it puts a smile on my face then I am all for it. And if my house in turn gets cleaned and organized, then my husband would say hes all for it=)
So yeah thats my rant on the whole YoutTube thing. I think you should go and check some videos out. There are a lot floating out there and again, not all bad. So go check them out and comment back on some that you are lovin right now!! My husband is currently updating his Megapolis or I would share with you some of favorites.. I may do that tomorrow or later=) But right now.. its time for BIG BREAK!! YAY!!

Until Next Time!!
Much love=)

Tea and Sympathy

Okay so I really dont know what that title means.. it was playing on my ITunes and I couldnt think of a title on my own so I just said the next song that comes on will be the title... I was a little scared of what song would pop up next=)
Anyhow.. its been almost 2 months since I have written and basically for the fact that not much has changed and I hate writing when the world seems to be crashing down because I feel like all of my posts are like that. I really have been trying to look at the positive side but its get hard at times. So an update :
I am having surgery tomorrow to get another stent out and to fix a blockage near my kidney. Sounds like fun.. wish you were me I bet=) And then there is another option for a surgery to try and get my bladder working correctly that I am considering. The best way I can describe it, its like a pacemaker for your bladder. It can work for people who pee too much or too little. Having worked in the urology office, I have seen people have this surgery and have great results. So I am probably going to head down that road. Nothing else has seemed to help and at this point, Im up for anything.
Job wise : not much of an update. I have applied but part of me wants a job but then other part of me is like what if I have this surgery? It means Im going to have be out and I dont want to start a job and then have to miss. I did have someone email me about wanting to interview me for a HR job. And as excited as I am, Im almost afraid to go. It would be awesome to get a job in HR, but at the same time, can my health really take it? My answer is .. pray. If I go to the interview and get the job, Im obviously going to take it... but its one of those things that Im just not sure of right now. Its been a prayer of mine the last 2 months and now Im scared to death I will get one. GEEZ!! Why does everything have to be so difficult? LOL
School Update : I am going back to school get get my Masters in Human Resource Leadership. It is through Sullivan University but completly online. I have started already and these classes are tough. But I think I have an advantage having worked since I was 16 and seen the good and bad of HR people. That is one of the main reasons I wanted to get into this field. I really feel I could do an adequate job and better then some I have worked with. So again my health is having a hit on it but luckily they have been really nice and understanding.
So that is all the updates I have. I really wish I could tell you everything has gotten better but really it hasnt. I just keep praying and keep having faith. I am not alone in anything I do and I have to remember that. Some days are harder than the others and some days are great. I just hope those great days keep multiplying!
Sorry for the big gap in between posts.. I promise I will not wait for 2 months to post another one!!
Thanks=) And rememeber if you have any advice or anything, leave a comment. Or even if you want my opinion on something just post it and let me know. I love to type and that would give me some things to write about!

Until next time=)

Passing on Life....

I dont use these blogs to promote things or to really harp on many subjects but tonight may be a little different. I am reminded today of how life really can be taken for granted and how the smallest decisions can be a life saving decision for someone else.
A couple of years ago, I was sitting with Ramon when we received news that his uncle was not doing very well at all. In fact, I think most of his family was at the hospital just waiting and knowing that he would never leave the hospital again. He was in the need of a liver transplant and the need was emergent or he was not going to make it. A few hours later, Ramon answered the phone fearing the worst.
On the other side of the hospital, a man laid in the hospital nearing his death. He had fought a disease all of his life just to see it finally take toll. He was a loving husband, father, son, and friend. It was too soon for him to go but God had decided it was time. Little did we know that night, that his familie's decision would be a decision that would bring life to someone else.
The phone call Ramon received wasnt the worst. In fact, his uncle was being rushed to the operating room to receive a new liver. They were told that it was flown in and that he was going to be receiving it. What a blessing and an answer to many prayers! But with that happiness came a little guilt and sadness for they knew somewhere a family was grieving the loss of someone special. It could have been Ramon's family suffering the loss but it wasnt. And we could only pray for his uncle during surgery and then pray for the faily that donated the liver.
While this was happening, I received news that my ex's cousin's husband had passed away. He had been sick for a long time and I remember feeling so sad because I knew of the family of he was leaving behind. I had met him before and couldnt understand why God would do this. So while a prayer for Ramon's uncle was being sent up for healing and a successful surgery, one was also being sent up for the family of my ex's cousins family as they were suffering a terrible loss.
They told Ramon's family that the liver had been flown in, yet the waiting room they had been in which was located right by the helipad, never echoed the sounds of a helicopter landing. In fact, it was such a surprise it was almost like the doctors had just found out that his uncle would be receiving the liver that no later he was being rushed to the operating room. And just across the hosptial, my ex's cousin had just finished saying goodbye to her husband as they prepared him for organ donation.
Wow... now I didnt put 2 and 2 together until a day later when I was talking to Ramon. Could that really be? I had personally never known anyone to receive an organ donation and I had never known anyone to donate their organs, again not personally at least. As I started asking questions, it fell into place. My ex's cousin's husband donated his organs and his liver went to Ramon's uncle. It was unsure for a while but afer a couple of months, I think it was finally confirmed. To witness one is a miracle but to know both people involved was overwhelming.
Ramon's uncle is doing well and out doing things he has not been able to in a long while. And this was all thanks to a family deciding to not only make an organ donation, but to save lives while doing it. It was amazing to say the least to experience both sides of the story. And I am just reminded, once again, of how precious life can be.
So my point is if are not an organ donor, thatn you should be. If you are unsure, than you do the research on your own and make that choice but I have seen first hand, the impact it can make. I won't go on and on about it because it is a very personal decision but I would like to think that when God does decide that it is my time that I would be able to make the same impact on other families just as I get to witness the impact it had on Ramon's family.

Happy Birthday to a great man who was very loved and will be remembered by many=)