How influential will you be?

While driving home tonight from a going away celebration for our minister of music, I couldnt help but think of how influential he has been for only a little over a year that I have been serving with him. I had a pretty rocky past and switched churches after a lot of prayer. After meeting with him and singing the first time, I was floored. It was like God placed me there because he speaks to me through music. And it was like he placed Warren there and in my life to help overcome any problems I had. His leadership was so Godly and I cant say enough good about him. He is a wonderful husband, a wonderful dad, a loyal friend, and a great music minister. God really does live through him and his family. Seeing him pack up and leave was really hard for me to understand. I know God is leading him in this direction but it was still really hard not to cry the Sunday morning he told the congregation. I already knew but just hearing it left me with some serious black eyes that morning after church.

With all of this being said, I couldnt help but think about how influential he has been in my life over a short period of time. And he just simply living the word. He was living for God. How influential will I be to someone? Am I already influencing people that I dont know of? Lead with my life. It doesnt matter if I know someone is watching me, as long as I am living by the word of God, I am doing it right. I should have no actions that I am ashamed about. I shouldnt have to worry if someone reads these blogs, my Facebook or sees me out. I am where God wants me and I feel like for the first time in my life, I am living the way God wants me. Its not always easy, but I have to faith that is what God wants. 

Taking this marriage class with my husband has also allowed me to see the kind of wife I am supposed to be. I wasnt doing anything wrong but there was soo much more that I was supposed to be doing. And they were simple things in our eyes but big things to God. And I am striving to do be the wife he wants me to be.

So I ask you, are you an influence on anybody? Do you have kids that watch your every step? Would you be proud that your kids grow up to be just like you? My prayer is that you are. My prayer is that I continue to be.

OMG..

So OMG my computer got infected.. But hopefully it will be back to normal state by tomorrow.. anyhow.. So I thought of using my parents computer since my labtop is still out of order. And then I had all of these thoughts running through my head about things I wanted to blog about and then I couldnt because I had no computer, only an IPad.. So I would just let them go and then duh... my IPad has a keyboard I can hook up. Im such a goofhead sometimes. Anyhow
So as far those things I wanted to blog about.. well I forgot them. People, my memory sucks. And thats at its best. I can have something in my hand, lay it down to go do something, like umm pee, and then come back and cant remember where I put it. I literally had been gone for 5 seconds and its suddenly disappeared!! So then I go back and look and look again and after hours of searching, finally give up. And then I find it. And its not like they are in abnormal places. Just abnormal to me. Except for the time I put my cell phone in the fridge or the remote in the fridge.. maybe I should just look in the fridge from now on. Anyhow.. I blame my mom for this. I never understood that if we were talking and she had something to say that we had to stop our conversation becasue she would forget what she was going to say. And we laughed.. and now its me. I have to say it or it just goes righ by me. And then minutes later it will kick in again and in the middle of a normal conversation I will remember what I was going to say in response to a conversation that had already ended. And its like the weirdest things that tips it off. Like the word.. cow. That will remind me that I was going to say something about a bill. I mean it IS that random. Of course I am pretty random. LOL..
And the other thing that bothered me earlier this week was these 2 people breaking up.. I watch YouTube on a daily basis. Most beauty channels, and other music channels. So there was this beauty guru and a music guy ( MissGlamorazzi and LukeConard ) that had been dating for almost 2 years and they suddenly quit tweeting each other and quit mentioning each other in their videos. And then people started googling it to the point that if you go to Google and type in .. Did Luke and Ingrid break up.. it will be the first thing that pops up into your auto fill in thingy. I mean these people make videos.. but are very popular with the YouTube community. And it just broke my heart when he finally announced it. And then people were asking them questions on Facebook, Twitter, Video Comments... about their dating status. I mean, come on people. They are real. If they broke up, give them time geez.. but it really broke my heart. And I found myself thinking about the possible reasons and then realized what I was doing. I dont know these people. I know them through the camera and that was it. And they are real people. They have real emotions and lead real lives as we know them. Why does it hurt me so bad. Geezz..
But the same can be said for tv characters or movie characters.. but this could only be worse because they are just characters.. they arent real! But still it tears at our heart strings when something happens to our favorite peeps on tv shows, especially soap operas.  But I wont go into detail because I would be here all night naming examples.  My favorite example is Ross and Rachel from Friends.How many nights did we go to bed crying because they broke up. Or how many times did we screen at the screen for Ross's actions when they were on a "break"?? I mean we become so involoved in characters that its just funny sometimes. I am only laughing with you all because I am the first and foremost probably worst at this. I cry, laugh and stay mad over tv shows. Its quite amazing.
So I hope you all have a had a good week! Hopefully I will get my computer back soon so I dont have to resort to this way! And in 10 days I WILL BE AT THE BEACH!!

Ha Ha...
Until Next Time!

50 Random Facts About Me

Good Friday everyone!!
So I hope everyone had a fantastic week and is going to have an even fantasiceerr weekend=) And for those of who do work and dont work, well more for those who dont work and have a husband or wife that does and doesnt have to work this weekend.. this means you. And everyone else as well. ( Wow that just became a whole lot more complicated than I inticipated. ) So anyhow, there is a YouTube tag going around where people spout out 50 Random Facts.. and while I hate jumping on bandwagons.. this one I am. But in word form people not video form.. dont get soo excited. But there is nothing you are missing from the video form of this... so lets go!!
DISCLAIMER : These really are short and random facts. I have not put any thought into this. So no judging! =)

1. I hate clowns, masks, well mostly clowns. They scare me.
2. I hate windchimes. I used to have this saying that everytime a windchime chimed, a clown killed someone.
3. When I was little and my sister was watching me, I used to chase her around the house with a bottle of Pledge.
4. My sister and I used to tape commercials on a cassette tape on rainy days. It was actually pretty goofy but fun!
5. I was not a child who sat indoors and watched tv all day. I spent most summers outside.
6. We had a tradition of going over to my nanny and pa's every Saturday since I think even before I was born. And 30 years later, I still try and do this.
7. My favorite food is steak cooked Med Rare - Rare..
8. I love salad. Acutally I love lettuce and cucumbers.
9. I looove roller coasters.
10. My husband does not.
11. Although we love water parks!
12. My son was only 3lbs at birth.
13. I own a PC that we got really really cheap. And I own a MAC labtop that needs to be fixed. The sooner the better.
14. I do actually look forward to getting a job.
15. I have a wonderul loving support system in my family.
16. My sister and I have seemed to get closer the further away she moved.
17. I miss my sissy.
18. And also bro in law and 2 nephews and 1 neice.. I miss them too.
19. I started working when I was 16 and have spent most of that at Lowes.
20. I worked in every dept except electrical and plumbing. Did not really feel like being the blame for a fire or a flood.
21. This is harder than it sounds.
22. Music is my life.
23. I have wrote and performed a song at my last church,
24. I was in a band called " Small Spark" when I was in college.
25. I hold a bachelors degree in Public Relations.
26. I wanted to be a Meteorologist when I was in Kindergarten. Still did up until I decided to stay in KY out of high school.
27. Still would love to.
28. If I had 5000.00, I would love to go on a storm chase.
29. My other dream job is to be on broadway.
30. I have no dream of visiting anywhere over seas.
31. I love Las Vegas!
32. If I could go anywhere, it would be.... good question. Somewhere beachy or somewhere really cold with snow.
33. I hate hot weather.
32. I love cold!
33. I love snow!
34. I love animals, but have no pets.
35. I had a dwarf rabbit that was black and white and named Disney for 13 years. The life span was only 3-35. My aunt and uncle got it for me for Christmas.
36. I once upon a time wanted a pig.
37. My sister and I each had a goldfish. They lived for a really looong time.
38. They are buried in a jewelry box behind where we used to live. I wouldnt let my dad flush them.
39. I have many scars on my knees and elbows from bike wrecks.
40. I cannot drive a stick shift.
41. When pumping gas, I had to stop on a dividend of 5.
42. My husband doesnt have to and makes sure I know it when I am in the car.
43. I have known my husband for over 20 years. And I am glad I finally got to marry him.
44. I have all of my letters that my friends and I wrote from middle school on.
45. I also have my diaries that I started writing when I was in grade school.
46. If I could live anywhere, I would live close to the beach or in Nashville or somewhere that gets snow!
47. I love storms.
48. My son is my rock and literally saved me back when he was just 1 month old. I am grateful!
49. I was raised in church and love it!
50. I want to start a video vlog but dont want people I know to make fun of me, so I wont.

So thats it!
I hope you enjoyed it!

Until Next Time=)

Write! And Whats Up This Week=)

Hey guys!! So I am running on complete no sleep energy.. I went to bed at 10.. got up at 2 and then back to sleep at 3 and then back up at 4.. and been awake since. I have been editing some photos to put on here to let you all know what I have been doing.. I know you all are so interested but you are reading this so I am thinking you just may be interested. So yesterday I got my stent yanked out but it is out!! It bothered me some last night after church and then it got okay. And then, oh about 15 minutes ago, it started hurting really bad. I had so much stuff I wanted to get accomplished today but looks like its gonna fall on tomorrow and this weekend. It will get done. It will. I am like the little engine that could.. and I just keep telling myself.. it will get done. It will get done. Okay.. so  we wil see..
So as far as the other big part of our summer.. includes a small group at our church called " The Real Marriage. " I am not going into detail about anything because this is not the place. However I do want to keep you in the loop.. its a great study and we are only on week 1 but we are both looking forward to it. This is the first marriage study we have done together and the first one I have ever done period. We just felt led to participate. There was no if ands or buts about it. And for the reason that God has thrown so many obsticales at us. I feel like we have been through more the last 2 years than most couples have been. Between job losses, finances, sicknesses. surgeries.. we keep getting our hands dealt. And not good hands. But through it all, even though there have been times my faith has been shaken, we have stood together. We have tried to keep God the center and we know we have to if we are going to face everything head on. We are dealing with stuff now but we are still here. We still have the love for each other and I love him more every day. I knew this was a study for us and I am looking forward to diving deep in it with each other and learn. God is our teacher. We listen and learn from him. The 11 weeks ahead of us are going to be challenging at some times but also holding hands through it is what will keep us going. So that pretty much sums up what I guess Session 1 is about but I am not going to do this every week.. I just felt the need to share what I just did.. guess I had a reason to write after all.
So moving forward. I guess I have always had it in me to write. I kept diaries even when I was in grade school. ( I still have them.. but there location is MIA at the moment.. but I know there are floating somewhere.. ) Anyhow.. I found this journal while I was in Gatlinburg called " Memories : Our Family Journal " I didnt get it and I regreted it because then I could not find it. Finally after a lot of searches on Google, I finally found it. And the company makes so many different sorts of journals. Its pretty cool. And if I had it in front of me, I would tell you the company. But you know whats not gonna happen. So anyhow, I love it for the fact that every page is labeled with different things to write. Such as news, events. happenings, memories of the day, prayers and concerns.. and on the back is a whole page for family notes. And every page is the same. So I love that. And its just happened that I got it about a week before the Boston bombings and then the tornados that just hit.. so there has been a lot to write down. Not to mention the stuff that we have done as a family. I love it!!
So thats about it.. Im done sitting in this chair so I guess laundry and then the couch for a bit. Then going to go see my parents and hang out for a while. I hope you all are having a great day / week!

Until next time..

I have no title

Sometimes you just dont have a title to a post.. it doesnt mean its bad, just means I have no title. So yeah.. thats gonna be this post's title.
Okay.. so it is about midnight on this lovely Saturday night and due to my late getting our sheets into the dryer, we are just now turning in for the night. Well, Ramon is at least. I have no sleepiness in my body yet.  So here we go again.. however YoutTube will love me because I just end up watching beauty vlogs and funny moments from Boy Meets World ( I love that show.. ) and other stuff. So I thought I would come in here and write a little. So if you read yesterdays post number 1, you will know I had a lot of built up stuff that I was getting out. As the day progressed, it got better. And then today, I had this weird like crazy energy. I was talking really weird and making my son laugh his head off and then breaking into random song ( not real songs.. just songs I made up lol.. okay.. thats embarrasing ) after each phrase I would say. I was like a walking weird comedy act. It was quite amusing. And Im sure if you ask Ramon he will just laugh. I seriously went on a talking phase for like a good hour. I dont even know what or whom I was talking to or about. I was just talking. It is weird how this built up stuff comes out sometimes. But I can say it was better than the whole anger thing. And Im sure my furniture and non living stuff appreciated it a little more. Okay..
So I had a lot of " really?" things today. You know, when you are faced with something weird and you are like " really?" I was DVRin the top 100 Breakthough Performances and it got to number 50 and stopped. I didnt miss any episodes. It just wasnt on there. Im expecting they are going to finish next week but " really "? That was quite annoying. I did however enjoy it and got some new ideas for songs for my IPod. ( Because when you get the chance to download some new songs, my mind goes blank and I cant think of any!! ) Thanks FUSE Channel for helping and then leaving me with a " really "? Aauugghh
And then while I was digging up some plants, our previous owners had put landscaping fabric down. Now I used to work at Lowes and would help people with this I highly suggested it because it does help keep weeds at bay. And it indeed had worked in this case as well. ( Love you all so dont take this the wrong way ) ( Yea we knew the previous owners.. ) BUT when you are digging up the plants that have been there so long, the fabric makes it almost inpossible to break through. " Really "? And I said that many times today. Maybe its the plants saying.. ha ha. You shouldnt dig me up and thats what you get. I really think they were laughing at me. And then I have my 5 year old son saying, " Mommy you shouldnt be doing this. You have a stent." But no, I go on and do it anyhow. And yes Im paying for it and its getting worse by the minute but I have a high tolerance for pain.. but ouch. I really should have listened to my son and husband. And I wonder where Drew gets his stubborness from.. oops. The one trait I had to pass on to him..
But my rose bush got planted ( my second one.. the first one I got last year for Mothers Day ) it looks sooo pretty..

I do have a picture of the final product, however it is in the other room and Im good where Im at... lol

So we had a good family day. Drew had fun with this Powerwheel and drawing all over the concrete and helping me.. and taking the rocks out of the dirt with his trucks and piling them in the garage..Yeah gonna have to put those back.
So while I could jabber on and on right now, I will spare you. Heres to a good night sleep.

Much love=)

PS--My blog is almost at 2000 views.. may not be seem like a lot but I think its pretty awesome=) Thanks!!

Oohh memories

So yes tonight was a definite walk down memory lane. The elementary school which I spent 5 years of my life is getting torn down this summer. It is sort of bittersweet. I see the need for a new school but seeing part of your past torn down is hard. And not to mention it is where I indeed met Ramon. Ms Hall's 4th grade class. He says I was too busy being a teacher's pet and talking that I did not pay attention to him. However, I did. In both 4th and 5th grade. As a matter of fact, I wrote in my diary waaay back then about him. So he cannot argue this point. I indeed tried to talk to him. It was him that would not talk back. LOL.. Anyhow the rest is history. And walking through those halls reminded me of how simple life was back then. We did our homework by hand. We respected others and our teachers. We used manners. ( most of the time.. ) We made friends. And some who are still friends to this day. We had loving families who were there for almost if not all of our programs. We were kids. We weren't expected to be all grown up, even as 5th graders. Some of my best memories are from that school. I can look at the yearbook and tell you the names of almost everyone without looking at the names. We have watched everyone grow up ( with the help of Facebook ) get married, and have kids of their own. Still the memories linger.. And we have lost some classmates. They will never be forgotten. And I will always go back in my mind and remember times we all shared together.
So yea, it is bittersweet. But though the building and materials are going to be gone and years from now a lot of people wont even remember what the building looked like, the memories won't be. Nobody can tear those down. I only hope Drew has the same experience that I did throughout school. I hope he makes new friends. I hope he respects his teachers and everyone. I hope he mistakes, because thats how you learn. I hope he knows he has a loving family behind him in no matter what he does. That is my wish for him. It may be simple, but I like the simple sorts of stuff. I guess I am a simple girl=) And I hope to make it a simple world as much as I can for Drew. =)

Central, thanks for the memories. I will cherish them always!

Much Love=)

Nerves of Steel....

I am not even sure I am going to post this so if I do just beware.. its a lot of ranting. However this is my escape. My way of letting everything go and be said. There are only 2 ways that I can get rid of this stress and my nerves just so freakin tight that I want to scream and throw something across the room... and the 2 ways are 1) PRAY and 2) WRITE.
So the reason I am not sure about posting this is because I have promised to make these blog entires about different stuff and not about my life and situation. But sometimes, its good to be real. And I like being real. It helps me get out what I need to. So here goes..
Everyone knows I dont have a job. My unemployment is on hold right now.. at least until Monday so Ramon and I are.. well you  know the saying.. I dont feel the need to write it. But do you ever let something get to you so bad that you think you are good. That everything is fine and as long as you have a smile on your face that its okay. You know you are going to make it through it and you just keep going the best you can. And then something tips it. That little thing that has been sitting there waiting to cross the line into serious nerve breakdown. Well yea. For me, it was a little thing called a haircut. My hair needs cut. Like seriously. Like so bad I cannot do a thing about it. I would rather just stick on a hat everywhere. And I am not brave enough to try and trim it myself. I mean I guess it couldnt get any worse. Okay, so I may be exaggerating a little. But the whole point, is that I was really looking forward to it looking nice again. And I had to cancel. Because we cannot afford it. And that peoples, is the tipping of the whatever that just started to eat at my nerves today. And thank goodness I have not had anything in my hand or it would have been thrown across the room. So to say that I am on edge today is probably an understatement. So what do I do to not be so angry and grumpy and yelling at everything in my house even though there are no living things with me right now... yea that is sort of embarassing.. however.. what do I do? Besides cry I sit and I literally shake. Im serious. When I say my nerves are pushed I think they are literally shaking inside my body. so then I PRAY and I WRITE. So while I will look back at this post later and probably regret posting it.. I am going to anyhow. I like to be real with you all and this is what is happening right now. So Im blabbering however, I feel some better. I guess as long as I dont look in the mirror and then I think, oh crap! I have to pick my son up at school so I have to look decent. And then I think , oh crap! I have somewhere to be tonight and possibly see people I havent seen in a while and of course I have to look better than decent. Crud. Just crud.
So I know some people say this to take this and turn it in to something productive. Okay. No. Thats not happening. People that say crazy things like that have never possibly had to cancel a haircut. I mean because is what it comes down to. Okay, call me crazy. But I really dont know what else could happen. And as soon as I say that, something else will. This whole life throwing us things is not too good. I mean it really has thrown everything at us and we are catching it and wishing I could throw it back. Not at anyone but just throw it back. You name it, its probably happened. And not just over time but like in the last 2 weeks or even shorter time frame than that. And when it all bottles up inside of you, its going to explode sometime. And I guess this morning was time for it to go off. So as for the rest of the day, I just feel sorry for the non living things in my house because they are going to experience the worst of it. And they will see me cry. And they will hear me scream for no reason. ButI guess its good that all of this will pass before I go get my son and my husband comes home and then we head out. Maybe I can put makeup on without looking at my hair. Because of course, it will probably spark something again.
Okay.. so thats it. Dont judge. I am sure everyone has these days and that everyone can relate somehow. I just write and get it out. I have always done that. Maybe I shouldnt have done it on here but oh well. Luckily my faith in God is strong. And there are several verses from the Bible that I keep repeating in my head to calm me down. I know he is looking over us. And I know that through friends and family. I will never understand why we just keep getting hit over the head so many times but there is a reason. And one day, I hope to see it. So as I continusly pray today and cry and scream, my faith will not be shaken. I will not let it be. So as bad as this post may sound, know that inside, is God. Is faith. Is love. Is understanding. Is confused. But is also loved. And also loves back. Is passionate about so many things. Is going to be okay. And is much less stressful than I was at the beginning of this post. Its going to be alright.

Much love=)