I was gong to add to that title and say " Im Getting it Right... For Now " however I have decided to keep it positive and keep the whole out look on this relationship positive. And I mean, me not messing anything up. So I know a lot of you have asked about my new boyfriend, Eric and where we met and so forth so I thought I would finally write a blog to answer some of these. I would have written sooner only my computers charger went down and so did my computer so I apologize.
So you may remember a previous blog on here about a guy named Eric whom I had met online. I have deleted that post really because I was emotional and in the hospital and on pain medicine. I try to avoid writing at those times because words sometimes come out that I dont mean or situations change and its just get confusing for you and me. So dont go looking, because you wont find that post.
Anyhow, so yes we met online. I was convinced by a friend to try it out and so was he. He was the first and only person I talked to. So after talking we met up and just sort of started hanging out. After about a month, he became my official boyfriend. I know some of you are thinking, isnt that a little a fast? But I have to come a realization that well not to be mean but it was our decision and that no no really. The most important thing to me is that he understood my past and I didnt lie to him about anything. I also learned about his. We both have sisters named Christen and our birthdays are the same day except I am one year older. All of the these things kept popping up and I was like it was so weird to have so much in common and even those these are superficial, we also have other important things in common.
Drew loves him and hes met my parents and my cousin and they all like him as well which is always a plus in my book! Im getting to know his family but since they arent from around here its mainly been chatting on Facebook. I tried to explain to him its so much more pressure on the girl to meet the mother because moms seems to always have this image of the perfect woman for her son. And with a kid and 2 divorces behind me, I was nervous and still am. Luckily I am trying to ease my way, with his help, to talk and get to know her. So far so good.
Im not going to get into logistics like where hes from and what he does however the one main thing he does is make me happy. =)
You would think meeiing someone would be sort of nervous around each other. But it wasnt at all. He even said the same thing. It was like we had known each other longer. Which is a good thing....I felt so comfortable around him and even sharing what I had been through with him felt so natural like I could finally be myself and wouldnt be judged (even thought both divorces were not my fault) And then he has to take me to the ER for kidney issues and he was right there. And I could tell that he cared about me and that he honestly didnt care that he had to be there and take me. And then it happened.
I have a major problem with starting to fall for people hard and fast. And I told myself I would not do that with him. We were actually building a friendship and it was turning into more but I was so scared to tell him I was falling for him because I didnt to mess this up. We are still in the beginning stages but I cannot put into words how lucky and blessed I feel to have him in my life. I dont care how we met, the point is we met for a reason. He is such a genuine and amazing guy with a huge heart. He treats me better than almost any another man I have ever had in my life. To say Im happy is a waaaay understatement. Time will tell what happens from here but for once I wish time would go slow just so we can continue on the path we are going. Each day, I feel like my feelings for him get stronger and we grow closer. I try to sort of tell him but I also do not wan to scare him off lol. But with the surgery coming up and everything I have been through, I try not to keep my feelings insude anymore just because it isnt worth it. He knows and he hasnt run away and thats number one in my book. So for once a happy blog!! And while some people think its sort of fast, I cant help the way I feel and I just hope he knows that!
Eric,
I know its strange to only really talking for about 2 months but I just wanted to say thank you. These last months could have been really hard but you made me smile and laugh through it all even when I wanted to hit something or cry. You have taught me things about myself and reminded me who I used to be even from years ago. You are an amazing guy who has won my heart over big time. And I cant wait for another new day just to see where our journey will go. I want you to know that I will be there for you through anything and you dont even have to ask. I love the way you know just the right moments to make me smile and laugh and how through these hard times, they arent so hard with you around. I love the way you told me you arent into holding hands in public but you hold mine anyways just to make me smile. Its the little things you do that dont see that make me so happy and blessed to be a part of your life. I cant wait to see whats ahead for us . I cant put into words how much you mean to me but I do know that " I am the luckiest."
Love,
BA
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