Dear Drew

Drew,
 
    I could not believe the day I found out I was pregnant. I could not believe the day when they told me you were a peanut and I was 6 weeks along and to come to find out, I was already 12 weeks along! I could not believe when I was admitted to the hospital and finding out something was not going as planned. I could not believe when they told me I was being rushed to the operating room. I could not believe the day would come where I kissed you on your forehead and watched you leave the room. I could not believe the first time I got to hold you and the amount of love I already had for you. I could not believe the day when our future was changed. I could not believe that you, even at 1 month old, would teach me things in the months that came. I cannot believe the obstacles that have come your way and the way you dealt with them with such ease and confidence. I could not believe how big you looked your first day of Preschool and then your second year. And now as you start Kindergarten, I cannot believe how much of a grown boy you are turning into. I cannot believe how fast this has all this gone by...

But what I can believe is this. I believe that my pregnancy was a gift and a blessing from God. He knew what was planned and that I needed someone to help me through it. And for me, that person was you. I believe that having you so early was a blessing to show me that despite odds, anyone can make it through anything difficult. I needed someone to show me how to be strong and to fight, even now. And for me, that person is you. I believe that everything in life happens for a reason and God does know what he is doing. I needed someone that believed me and whose love would not wavier even in my darkest times. For me, that person was you. I believe that even when your life is not going the way you planned, that God has a plan. I needed someone to be there with me every step of the way, and for me that person was you. I believe that no matter the " living situation " or the back and forth between parents, that it does not matter because you have an overwhelming amount of love and support that surrounds you every day. I needed to you to know that we are doing the best for you and that I was doing what was best. Through your actions, love, joy. and laughter, you are proving me to every day, that I am doing my best. And whenever I doubt, you are the person that makes me smile and believe again.

And lastly,
I hope that the love you have been given and the love you share will get you through all of your days, even the tough ones. Because there will be tough ones. But just know, you will always have a pair of arms waiting to hug you when you come home.
I hope that make friends and even girlfriends. Ha. Some of these friends may end up being your best friends for life. I can only wish that for you because good friends are hard to find and best friends are even harder. Just dont break too many of the little girls' hearts..
I hope that you take every opportunity to learn as much as you can. I know its an old saying, but a good education does indeed take you far in life.
I hope you dream. I hope you love. I hope you laugh. I hope you know that God is with you each and every step.

I cannot put into words how much I love you and how proud of you I am. I am ever so thankful for God for placing you in my life. And always remember, that no matter how big you get, you will always be my baby.

Love,
Mommy

Who would you have supper with?

I have sit here morning after morning starting at this blank screen trying to think about something to blog about.  Then as I was watching tv someone asked the question, who would you have supper with dead or alive if you could choose. And you can only name 5. I thought this would be an easy question to answer and I was sure I would problems simplifying my list but my mind went blank. Was it bad that I couldnt think of 5 people much less I couldnt think of one! My mind was struggling but not one name popped up. The other sad thing was I could think of more people who I would NOT want to have supper with. 

The more I thought about it the more confused I got and so it was when I didnt think about it that I started coming up with names. So this list is not in order and it was not thought out so no judging. believe me I judged myself! LOL.

Oh yea and the reasons.. well I will give you the first reason that popped in my head and I hope its sufficient.. =)

1. Idina Menzel.... Not because of Glee but because of her career on broadway. And while some of her roles are not the best examples ( Rent.. she was great ) her voice is unbelievable. And the fact she has a family as well makes me smile. I follow her on Twitter and I love seeing her and Taye Diggs tweets back and forth and how much she loves her career and her family. To be able to have both is a dream and a dream of mine. I cant wait to see where her career goes!

2. Tom Hanks... I have always respected him as an actor and a person. I also love the fact that he such a family man. And that he seems to be such a down to earth man. His work in his movies blows me away sometimes and again, I cant wait to see where he is in years to come. He still has whole life ahead of him!

3. Natalie Grant... She is my all time favorite singer and songwriter. Her song " Held " became my life anthem when I was going through a divorce. The way she writes emotions into her songs and her words strike me everytime. It takes a lot for me to hear song over and over again and have my emotions go into a wreck. And yes that song has a personal connection but even then, all of her songs make me smile. And thats exactly what we all need in a world like this.

4. George W. Bush... By far my favorite President and without getting into politics I will leave it there. But he def deserves to be higher than number 4.

5. My husbands dad... He passed away years ago. Now while the relationship between him and Ramon may not have been peachy keen he still needs to know what kind of man Ramon grew up to be. And for that fact, he needs to know how all of children grew up. While I wish I could sit here and say their relationship was perfect at the time of his death, I cant. This is not my story to tell but I will say that out of all the people on this list, he may be number 1. I like to think that he knows what sort of man Ramon is. I would tell him that Ramon is every bit of a husband that God wants him to be. And that through everything, Ramon has been my rock. I cant imagine how hard is to begin a relationship with someone who has been through a rough divorce and has a child. But it was like he saw past all of that. He came into my life when I needed him the most. Besides a great husband, he is a great man. He loves, he cares. And he is great step father to Drew. These are the things he needs to know.

A Year Has Gone Past...

Well almost a year. I think it was July 28 actually. The day I was admitted to the hospital and began fighting for my life. When that happens to you, your perspective on life and everything changes dramatically. It really didn't it me until the other day when Ramon bought it up. But I do do things differently. My priorities have changed. My outlook has changed. The way I live and love have changed. And its hard. People dont get it. People looking in see my house as a mess and cluttered but I see it as time I have spent with my family. And no matter how much I try to convince some people of that, they just dont get it. 
Time with people have changed. When you realize you could have lost it all, you suddenly want it all back and every second counts. And then when someone tells you you are acting dumb for wanting to spend time with someone, its just like you dont get it. So as I sit here with MY family tonight, I remember what is important. I remember I have a place where people love me and dont judge me for how I live or what I want to do. Its a horrible feeling to not be able to share everything good in your life because someone will be there to find one negative thing about it and keep reminding you about it. I dont have time to have that in my life nor do I feel like I need it. Luckily my husband and son are always here to remind me of that. 
Its just been a really hard week. I got home after an amazing service at church and felt like I could kick this week in the butt but it somehow has fallen apart like always. The one good thing is that my sister and her family are in and that has helped. Even if I have gotten to spend a short amount of time with them, it has been time well spent. I dont get to see them very often and since I dont have a job, I like to take the opportunity to see them before they go home. They have such busy lives in GA that its hard for them to get away. And they have so many friends and family here that I think they are just as busy here as they are at home if not busier running around. Like I said, even though its a short time, at least its some time. 
If I have learned anything this past year its that you have to live your life the way you want it and the way that God has planned it out to be. If following him means putting other stuff on hold that do it. Petty stuff that filled your heart and life before shouldnt be there. And most of all, I have learned that with God and my family, I can get through anything. Thanks to everyone who ever said a prayer for me this past year. Its been hard and I hope it just gets easier from here. With me going back to school and Drew starting school and money issues as always and praying for a job, it is still hard. But I pray God guides us through it. Somehow we still have a house and 2 cars and the electric and water has been on for more than a month now finally. We are struggling but I know the only person that can help is God. We have depended on him so much and still do. He gave me a son 5 years ago and a husband almost 3 years ago and I am forever grateful to say that I have never been closer to him than I am right now. I look forward to the future and again.. thanks everyone for coming along the ride with me=)

President Obama

OKay so I have been avoigint this post for a while simply becasue I could not think of how I wanted to approach it. But being it is 3 am and Im not tired, due to I dont know what, I figured why not tackle it. It seems I do my best writing when I dont think about what I am going to say and just type... just keep typing.. just keep typing.. ( in the voice or Dorie )
So first of all before we get started, yes this the third post but technically the other two were last night and this one is Friday morning. Dont get too excited. I am sure I will run out of topics. I have been wating for my labtop to get fixed and my PC but I just way too much on my mind about what I wanted to wrtie.

Im Republican and its no secret. I always have been. Not becasue someone told me to be or forced their opinions on me it happened in high school. I cant remember if there was an exact time but thats when I decided that when I registered to vote I wanted to register as Republican. I have voted every time I could since then and I dont think I have ever voted Democrat on anything.
Now before you start stereotyping me, I am not the one who goes in a booth and votes straight Republican. I actually do listen to both sides. And I ever feel the Republican candidate isnt the person for the job than I will vote against. It has just happened what I agree with what they believe in and stand for every time.
Also I hate voting time due to the commercials. And I hate debates for the most part, both parties. I hate when all they can do is rag on their oponenet for what they did or did not do. Just tell me what you are going to do. Thats all I ask for.
So now that is out of the way now on to our President. I did not vote for him nor would I ever. And not because hes Democrat but because I really dont believe in anything he stands for. I dont think gay marriages should be allowed anywhere. I dont believe in abortion ( its called birth control for a reason ) and I think Obamacare is a joke that we are paying for. I cant tell you what he promised to do becasue his first term all he talked about was how bad Bush was in office and the next term he was dogging Romney over everything. Not to say that Romney wasnt doing it back but again peoples, I dont care about how bad the other guy is just inform me on your plan please. And also let the other guy have his chance to talk withou the eye rolling and the interruption. Im not voting for a baby or a kid so I wont vote for you.
With all of this being said. I still respect our president. I may not hold a lot of respect for him, but he is our president. God places leaders into position so he knew all along he would be in the White House. I trust the Lord and I hope Obama is obeying somehow. I doubt it but I can hope. Also I pray for this position and any leaders in our contry and state. We cant go back and change it, its done. If you want to hate him for the next 4 years well then I guess you have the right to. But I look at it as hes in a leadership role and I will respect that.  I may not respect his decisions but there has to be some reason some of his bills arent getting passed, especially with gun control. God is in control. Obama may not think so but yes indeed he is.
So while he is not my top choice I know God would never place anyone in that role that wasnt prepared for it. And he wouldnt let him destroy us as a nation. We are a string resillent nation under God.
Its not a cmplicated issue and I dont know why people cant let it go. If you believe in God than you know hes in charge. Keep praying and it will be over in 2 1/2  more years!!

Until next time...

Cows have best friends

So my husband decided he would give this whole blogging thing a try. And he has done well. SUrprisingly.. lol. No he is an excellent writer. But his are nice and composed. Mine however he says are random. Well I am random so that makes sens. I figured I write about things that matter every now and then but then I aim to please and to make people smile and laugh. If I have learned anything since August it is to simply smile and laugh. And for you Reds fans, Brandon Phillips. That is all I have to say. So on that note here are some facts about smiling...

There are 19 different kids of smiles.

Women smile more than men.

Smiling will help you get promoted.

Humans can tell the difference between fake smiling and real smiling by looking at their eyes.

A person that studies laugher is a gelotologist.



And now some facts to MAKE you smile

Cows have best friends
 ( Moove got a friend in me )

Cows produce the most milk when listening to the song Everybody Hurts by REM
  ( Crying out the wrong end ? )

Worms communciate by snuggling
 ( On which end?)

Penguins have only one mate and "propose" by bringing them a pebble
( That pebble better have some bling!!)

A sloth only leaves the tree to use the bathroom
 ( Well at least they dont while they are the tree)

A monkey was once tried and convicted for smoking a cigarette in South Bend, IN
 ( Amy from Big Bang better watch out..)

At the time of your birth, you were once for a few seconds the youngest person on Earth.
 ( I did hold a record!! )

There ya go people!! KEEP SMILING!

How influential will you be?

While driving home tonight from a going away celebration for our minister of music, I couldnt help but think of how influential he has been for only a little over a year that I have been serving with him. I had a pretty rocky past and switched churches after a lot of prayer. After meeting with him and singing the first time, I was floored. It was like God placed me there because he speaks to me through music. And it was like he placed Warren there and in my life to help overcome any problems I had. His leadership was so Godly and I cant say enough good about him. He is a wonderful husband, a wonderful dad, a loyal friend, and a great music minister. God really does live through him and his family. Seeing him pack up and leave was really hard for me to understand. I know God is leading him in this direction but it was still really hard not to cry the Sunday morning he told the congregation. I already knew but just hearing it left me with some serious black eyes that morning after church.

With all of this being said, I couldnt help but think about how influential he has been in my life over a short period of time. And he just simply living the word. He was living for God. How influential will I be to someone? Am I already influencing people that I dont know of? Lead with my life. It doesnt matter if I know someone is watching me, as long as I am living by the word of God, I am doing it right. I should have no actions that I am ashamed about. I shouldnt have to worry if someone reads these blogs, my Facebook or sees me out. I am where God wants me and I feel like for the first time in my life, I am living the way God wants me. Its not always easy, but I have to faith that is what God wants. 

Taking this marriage class with my husband has also allowed me to see the kind of wife I am supposed to be. I wasnt doing anything wrong but there was soo much more that I was supposed to be doing. And they were simple things in our eyes but big things to God. And I am striving to do be the wife he wants me to be.

So I ask you, are you an influence on anybody? Do you have kids that watch your every step? Would you be proud that your kids grow up to be just like you? My prayer is that you are. My prayer is that I continue to be.

OMG..

So OMG my computer got infected.. But hopefully it will be back to normal state by tomorrow.. anyhow.. So I thought of using my parents computer since my labtop is still out of order. And then I had all of these thoughts running through my head about things I wanted to blog about and then I couldnt because I had no computer, only an IPad.. So I would just let them go and then duh... my IPad has a keyboard I can hook up. Im such a goofhead sometimes. Anyhow
So as far those things I wanted to blog about.. well I forgot them. People, my memory sucks. And thats at its best. I can have something in my hand, lay it down to go do something, like umm pee, and then come back and cant remember where I put it. I literally had been gone for 5 seconds and its suddenly disappeared!! So then I go back and look and look again and after hours of searching, finally give up. And then I find it. And its not like they are in abnormal places. Just abnormal to me. Except for the time I put my cell phone in the fridge or the remote in the fridge.. maybe I should just look in the fridge from now on. Anyhow.. I blame my mom for this. I never understood that if we were talking and she had something to say that we had to stop our conversation becasue she would forget what she was going to say. And we laughed.. and now its me. I have to say it or it just goes righ by me. And then minutes later it will kick in again and in the middle of a normal conversation I will remember what I was going to say in response to a conversation that had already ended. And its like the weirdest things that tips it off. Like the word.. cow. That will remind me that I was going to say something about a bill. I mean it IS that random. Of course I am pretty random. LOL..
And the other thing that bothered me earlier this week was these 2 people breaking up.. I watch YouTube on a daily basis. Most beauty channels, and other music channels. So there was this beauty guru and a music guy ( MissGlamorazzi and LukeConard ) that had been dating for almost 2 years and they suddenly quit tweeting each other and quit mentioning each other in their videos. And then people started googling it to the point that if you go to Google and type in .. Did Luke and Ingrid break up.. it will be the first thing that pops up into your auto fill in thingy. I mean these people make videos.. but are very popular with the YouTube community. And it just broke my heart when he finally announced it. And then people were asking them questions on Facebook, Twitter, Video Comments... about their dating status. I mean, come on people. They are real. If they broke up, give them time geez.. but it really broke my heart. And I found myself thinking about the possible reasons and then realized what I was doing. I dont know these people. I know them through the camera and that was it. And they are real people. They have real emotions and lead real lives as we know them. Why does it hurt me so bad. Geezz..
But the same can be said for tv characters or movie characters.. but this could only be worse because they are just characters.. they arent real! But still it tears at our heart strings when something happens to our favorite peeps on tv shows, especially soap operas.  But I wont go into detail because I would be here all night naming examples.  My favorite example is Ross and Rachel from Friends.How many nights did we go to bed crying because they broke up. Or how many times did we screen at the screen for Ross's actions when they were on a "break"?? I mean we become so involoved in characters that its just funny sometimes. I am only laughing with you all because I am the first and foremost probably worst at this. I cry, laugh and stay mad over tv shows. Its quite amazing.
So I hope you all have a had a good week! Hopefully I will get my computer back soon so I dont have to resort to this way! And in 10 days I WILL BE AT THE BEACH!!

Ha Ha...
Until Next Time!