I know it has been a while but I just haven't felt much inspiration to write about anything. Until yesterday.. my son was born on December 11, 2007 and since then I dont know that I have got to spend half of those days with him. When you have shared custody, its almost like you flip flop holidays. I get him this year for this, and he get him the next year and so forth. Dont get me wrong, Im glad his real father is in his life. I dont know how much I appreciate the fact that his influence could be not the best, but I cant bother myself with that. Ramon and I try to hard to be the Christian influences in his life. We switch every other weekend, so the weekends he is with his father, Drew doesnt get the opportunity to go to church. This bothered me at first, but it really hit home when Drew said something about he missed going to church every Sunday and he wished his daddy would take him. It hit home hard. I knew we were doing everything, but is our everything enough when neither of us are around? I pray every day that Drew will grow up to be the man that I and God so long him to be. All I can do is keep praying that even though he is not with me 7 days a week, that our influence is strong enough to guide him even in other households. And that God is watching over him and that Drew knows that. ( Im not trying to make his dad sound like a bad person... dont take this the wrong way )
If you are lucky enough to have a family that is not split up, dont take it for granted. On those holidays especially. There is nothing like waking up on Christmas morning and watching your child run in the room with the presents and watching those eyes light up. There also is nothing like waking up in Christmas morning to a room full of presents and no child running through. We split that day up so I get him eventually and luckily this year, I get him Christmas morning. And those days that just want to walk out and need to take a breather, consider that a good thing. Geez, I dont have Drew all 7 days and I still have those days. But be thankful. There are some of us who dont have that pleasure, if you want to call it that. I dont get to spend as much time as I would like with him especially with work, school and other activities. But I am trying my best to the mother God wants me to be and do my best to make sure Drew knows that no matter the circumstance, I love him " to the moon and back. "
So love on your kids. Put down whatever you are doing when they ask you to play. Kiss them. And hug them. And let them see Gods love through you.
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
Thursday, November 22, 2012
Its Turkey Day!
So I cannot go a holiday without writing something. So it is Thanksgiving. And I have way to much to be thankful for to list them all. Mostly this year, I am just thankful that for once Im healthy ( well getting there ) and beyond all medical reasons, I am going to be sitting at the table sharing good food and good times with some of the greatest people I know.
Some of the greatest memories I have are from the holidays. And they bring a smile to my face. We used to have at the clubhouse in the park I grew up in because we had so many people. And while some arent with us anymore, the memories still last. And then we have some in other parts of the US that cant be with us but are there in our hearts. What I wouldnt give to have one huge Thanksgiving with every bit of my family from both sides. ( Even though I like the cold, I think my aunt and uncle could do great in Arizona having us all out there lol ) But they are celebrating in their own ways. And just thankful that we are all together in our memories and hearts.
This Thanksgiving will probably be one of my hardest. Do you ever just look around and observe? And to think that my chair should have been empty gets me every time. But its not by the grace of God. While we wont have a HUGE family, its still family that I have ate with ever since I was born. I love traditions and I vow to not let this one change. The food alone is great but the company even better. And yes, we still have two tables. And yes even at 30, I still eat at the kids table. How else could we burn silverware and melt it into great little artsie stuff. LOL... I love my family and the memories we make each year. And even though we are missing some of them, we have a brand new addition to the table this year. And I have Drew. So they carry on. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and take the time to relish every bit of it because you never know when it may be your last. I didnt want this to be a long complicated blog but there are some things Im thankful for that I want to list. And I hope everyone has a great day!
My Thank You's
Ramon - For being the wonderful husband you are. You have been my absolute rock through everything and picked me up many times. You are the love of my life and I couldnt live a day without you. You have seen me through good and bad and still love me. I thank God each day for you for loving me and Drew.
My Parents - Wow. You have seen me through more than anything parents should. But you have stood by my side through it all. Thank you for raising me in such a loving Christian home and showing the sort of love you have. You are the reason that I look up at God so much because I see him through the love you have not just for me but for our family. Words can never be enough.
My sister - You are my absolute influence. You are a great sister, friend, wife, mother and most of all one of the most Godly women I know. When I was so sick, everyone said that I soon as I knew you were there, I got better. I hate that we are so far apart and even though we dont see each other a lot just know I love you and miss you so much. Just hearing your voice makes my day better and I couldnt ask for a better sister and friend in my life.
My grandparents - Even though two of my grandparents are passed away, they have always had an influence on me.I wish I had more time with them but I cherish the time I did have. To my nanny and pa. I l love you both. I am so lucky to have you and be able to see you alot. Drew thinks the world of you all and I have loved watching him fall in love with you all. I cannot put in words how much your love means to me. I always remember when I got sick, I wanted you all there and even at 30, I still need you more than you know. You two show me Gods love every day and just know that I am forever thankful for everything you have ever done. I coudnt imagine a day without you in my life.
My family - I have been so blessed to have such a wonderful loving family. Each of you mean so much to me. And even though we dont see each other as much, know that I love you and think of you all each day. Its amazing to me that God has blessed me with each one of you. Through some of my hardest times, I knew that I could pick up the phone or get in the car and you all would be there. Its that love that got me through. And even though I dont say it as much, thank you.
Drew - You are almost 5 and mommy cant believe it! You will never know what a miracle you were to me. Starting out at 3lbs you were so small and so fragile. You have grown up in some unforuntate conditions but you are one of the strongest and caring boys I will ever know. You also will never know much how you saved me. I needed you more than anything and just hearing I love you mommy and your hugs and kisses make my day. And even at 1 month old, you made me believe in life and hope. I love you so much and just know that I am too thankful for you more than you ever will know. I see God through you as well and it makes me smile=) Dont ever lose that heart you have or even that attitude just because its so cute at times. And live your life to fullest knowing that I have your back no matter what.
My friends - Old and new. Yours all love and thoughts and prayers have surrounded me through good and bad times. I love that even though we dont talk each day, I can pick up the phone and there you are. God has put some amazing influences in my life and you all are to be included. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone=)
Some of the greatest memories I have are from the holidays. And they bring a smile to my face. We used to have at the clubhouse in the park I grew up in because we had so many people. And while some arent with us anymore, the memories still last. And then we have some in other parts of the US that cant be with us but are there in our hearts. What I wouldnt give to have one huge Thanksgiving with every bit of my family from both sides. ( Even though I like the cold, I think my aunt and uncle could do great in Arizona having us all out there lol ) But they are celebrating in their own ways. And just thankful that we are all together in our memories and hearts.
This Thanksgiving will probably be one of my hardest. Do you ever just look around and observe? And to think that my chair should have been empty gets me every time. But its not by the grace of God. While we wont have a HUGE family, its still family that I have ate with ever since I was born. I love traditions and I vow to not let this one change. The food alone is great but the company even better. And yes, we still have two tables. And yes even at 30, I still eat at the kids table. How else could we burn silverware and melt it into great little artsie stuff. LOL... I love my family and the memories we make each year. And even though we are missing some of them, we have a brand new addition to the table this year. And I have Drew. So they carry on. I hope everyone has a great Thanksgiving and take the time to relish every bit of it because you never know when it may be your last. I didnt want this to be a long complicated blog but there are some things Im thankful for that I want to list. And I hope everyone has a great day!
My Thank You's
Ramon - For being the wonderful husband you are. You have been my absolute rock through everything and picked me up many times. You are the love of my life and I couldnt live a day without you. You have seen me through good and bad and still love me. I thank God each day for you for loving me and Drew.
My Parents - Wow. You have seen me through more than anything parents should. But you have stood by my side through it all. Thank you for raising me in such a loving Christian home and showing the sort of love you have. You are the reason that I look up at God so much because I see him through the love you have not just for me but for our family. Words can never be enough.
My sister - You are my absolute influence. You are a great sister, friend, wife, mother and most of all one of the most Godly women I know. When I was so sick, everyone said that I soon as I knew you were there, I got better. I hate that we are so far apart and even though we dont see each other a lot just know I love you and miss you so much. Just hearing your voice makes my day better and I couldnt ask for a better sister and friend in my life.
My grandparents - Even though two of my grandparents are passed away, they have always had an influence on me.I wish I had more time with them but I cherish the time I did have. To my nanny and pa. I l love you both. I am so lucky to have you and be able to see you alot. Drew thinks the world of you all and I have loved watching him fall in love with you all. I cannot put in words how much your love means to me. I always remember when I got sick, I wanted you all there and even at 30, I still need you more than you know. You two show me Gods love every day and just know that I am forever thankful for everything you have ever done. I coudnt imagine a day without you in my life.
My family - I have been so blessed to have such a wonderful loving family. Each of you mean so much to me. And even though we dont see each other as much, know that I love you and think of you all each day. Its amazing to me that God has blessed me with each one of you. Through some of my hardest times, I knew that I could pick up the phone or get in the car and you all would be there. Its that love that got me through. And even though I dont say it as much, thank you.
Drew - You are almost 5 and mommy cant believe it! You will never know what a miracle you were to me. Starting out at 3lbs you were so small and so fragile. You have grown up in some unforuntate conditions but you are one of the strongest and caring boys I will ever know. You also will never know much how you saved me. I needed you more than anything and just hearing I love you mommy and your hugs and kisses make my day. And even at 1 month old, you made me believe in life and hope. I love you so much and just know that I am too thankful for you more than you ever will know. I see God through you as well and it makes me smile=) Dont ever lose that heart you have or even that attitude just because its so cute at times. And live your life to fullest knowing that I have your back no matter what.
My friends - Old and new. Yours all love and thoughts and prayers have surrounded me through good and bad times. I love that even though we dont talk each day, I can pick up the phone and there you are. God has put some amazing influences in my life and you all are to be included. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Happy Thanksgiving everyone=)
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
What If...
A couple of weeks ago, there was a question asked amongst our small group. It went something like .. If I would have never ________ then I would have never ___________. ( Something close to that ) I wont share my answer for that night but it was based on the lines of I am glad to be at the church I am at =) But it got me to thinking lately, about the what if's in our lifes? And why are we so concentrated on them? How many people get up each morning and say what if I would done this? Or what if I would have done it that way? Even spanning back to years and years ago in their lives. Im guilty as charged but its something I have been working on. Yes I can go back and say I wish I would have done it this way then I wouldnt have experienced what I did and my life would have turned out much better. But would it have? Since I didnt take that path, there is no way of telling if it would have worked out the way it did in my head.
I will give you a prime example. Ever since I was in Kindergarten I wanted to be a " weather girl " ( Its 7am and I dont feel like spelling that out lol ) I didnt want to be on the camera but I wanted to be behind the scenes studying it. Why things happen when they do. Especially storms and tornadoes. ( One day I will go on a chase.. my ultimate dream!! ) I had this dream up until high school, literally. Then along comes high school love and it sets you back. Now on my senior year, I had to figure out whether I wanted to go to Oklahoma and get my degree in Meteorology ( yay I think I spelled it right ) or stay here where my " love " was and be with him. Well you know my decision. I stayed here and worked and got my degree from EKU in Public Relations. At that points, my life was going in a good direction so I didnt regret my decision.
I dont think you ever regret the decision you make until something goes bad. And then you think, oh crap, what have I done? After graduation, building a beautiful house and becoming pregnant, I thought I had it all. And the thoughts on leaving KY after high school never even crossed my mind until that dreadful day of when I found out about my husband then. ( Wont go into details, see previous blogs... ) So during the divorce, thats when they what if's hit in and hit in hard. What if I would have went to Oklahoma? Then this wouldnt have happened. ( In my mind, it wouldnt have ) What if I would have been a better wife or kept the house cleaner or did more to prove I loved him? I mean the questions would beat down so hard on me that I would lose sleep. And for about a year, thats how I lived. Going back in my years past and thinking about what if I would have done it? And then it clicked. God knew what he was doing when he sent me down this path. It didnt really click though until I was spending time with Drew. Knowing that he wouldnt have been there if I would have done the what ifs earlier. Then I met my husband. I would have never know the sort of love he shows me every day and the real and true meaning of marriage. God knew exactly why he sent me down this road. I just didnt want to see it in his way. And even today I can go back and do the what ifs. But I really try not to. There is a reason we dont do them. God plans it. He knows what is best for us and in his time, not ours. he shows us. So as I struggle here and there I keep that in mind. I am not the one steering my life. I am here to serve God and to use his talents. And to live my life the way he wants me to. And thats what I strive to do every day. Its not perfect but who is?
So when the what ifs hit you., think about the good things that God has gave you out of them. He has given me plenty and I cant say I dont have regrets because I do, ( thats a whole nother blog ) but out of the regrets and the what ifs I have grown into a strong woman who can face anything. Thanks God=) You truly are amazing=)
I will give you a prime example. Ever since I was in Kindergarten I wanted to be a " weather girl " ( Its 7am and I dont feel like spelling that out lol ) I didnt want to be on the camera but I wanted to be behind the scenes studying it. Why things happen when they do. Especially storms and tornadoes. ( One day I will go on a chase.. my ultimate dream!! ) I had this dream up until high school, literally. Then along comes high school love and it sets you back. Now on my senior year, I had to figure out whether I wanted to go to Oklahoma and get my degree in Meteorology ( yay I think I spelled it right ) or stay here where my " love " was and be with him. Well you know my decision. I stayed here and worked and got my degree from EKU in Public Relations. At that points, my life was going in a good direction so I didnt regret my decision.
I dont think you ever regret the decision you make until something goes bad. And then you think, oh crap, what have I done? After graduation, building a beautiful house and becoming pregnant, I thought I had it all. And the thoughts on leaving KY after high school never even crossed my mind until that dreadful day of when I found out about my husband then. ( Wont go into details, see previous blogs... ) So during the divorce, thats when they what if's hit in and hit in hard. What if I would have went to Oklahoma? Then this wouldnt have happened. ( In my mind, it wouldnt have ) What if I would have been a better wife or kept the house cleaner or did more to prove I loved him? I mean the questions would beat down so hard on me that I would lose sleep. And for about a year, thats how I lived. Going back in my years past and thinking about what if I would have done it? And then it clicked. God knew what he was doing when he sent me down this path. It didnt really click though until I was spending time with Drew. Knowing that he wouldnt have been there if I would have done the what ifs earlier. Then I met my husband. I would have never know the sort of love he shows me every day and the real and true meaning of marriage. God knew exactly why he sent me down this road. I just didnt want to see it in his way. And even today I can go back and do the what ifs. But I really try not to. There is a reason we dont do them. God plans it. He knows what is best for us and in his time, not ours. he shows us. So as I struggle here and there I keep that in mind. I am not the one steering my life. I am here to serve God and to use his talents. And to live my life the way he wants me to. And thats what I strive to do every day. Its not perfect but who is?
So when the what ifs hit you., think about the good things that God has gave you out of them. He has given me plenty and I cant say I dont have regrets because I do, ( thats a whole nother blog ) but out of the regrets and the what ifs I have grown into a strong woman who can face anything. Thanks God=) You truly are amazing=)
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Thankful...
With everything I have went through you would think " Thankful" would be the last title for this blog. People this time of year always posts what they are thankful for. And while I have not participated this year, does not mean I am not thankful for anything but I think I am just to thankful for everything. God, family, friends and life itself. When you start getting into specifics it would take more than a month for me to write them all down. To be honest , except for the last week when I was hooked up in the hospital , I have sat down at this computer trying to think what to write about. And this morning, I guess I will take a shot.
God has given me a lot of hills and mountains to get over the last couple of months. But in return, he has given me the strength and resources to get through them. It is like they say, God will never give you more than you can handle. He has also provided me with a church and a loving small group and a wonderful music minister who has given me the chance to share my talents with the church. This has been a blessing in itself. Its so great to know that these people are praying for you and are there for you whenever you need them. He has given me family. A wonderful and supportive husband and parents who have been there from day 1. I am so blessed to have such wonderful parents who love me unconditionally and show me everyday. My son who just a hug and I love you mommy lights up my world. And grandparents who would do anything to take this pain away from me.
You would think with all of this that going through the miscarriage and the hospital stay that I would be good as new. But Im not. Im so emotionally wrecked that I just want to crawl up somewhere and stay. And I know that is when I need God and everyone the most. But no matter the amount of hugs or thoughts sometimes I think you just need time to heal. I think I have let myself cover everything up that I havent given myself time for that. So as I pour myself into getting my house back into order, if I cry, I cry. If I just want to go be by myself in the back, I will. But most of all, my quiet time with God is growing and I start on yet another adventure back to normal, if there is such a thing, I just have to remember to breathe and to love God and my life. And to be thankful=)
God has given me a lot of hills and mountains to get over the last couple of months. But in return, he has given me the strength and resources to get through them. It is like they say, God will never give you more than you can handle. He has also provided me with a church and a loving small group and a wonderful music minister who has given me the chance to share my talents with the church. This has been a blessing in itself. Its so great to know that these people are praying for you and are there for you whenever you need them. He has given me family. A wonderful and supportive husband and parents who have been there from day 1. I am so blessed to have such wonderful parents who love me unconditionally and show me everyday. My son who just a hug and I love you mommy lights up my world. And grandparents who would do anything to take this pain away from me.
You would think with all of this that going through the miscarriage and the hospital stay that I would be good as new. But Im not. Im so emotionally wrecked that I just want to crawl up somewhere and stay. And I know that is when I need God and everyone the most. But no matter the amount of hugs or thoughts sometimes I think you just need time to heal. I think I have let myself cover everything up that I havent given myself time for that. So as I pour myself into getting my house back into order, if I cry, I cry. If I just want to go be by myself in the back, I will. But most of all, my quiet time with God is growing and I start on yet another adventure back to normal, if there is such a thing, I just have to remember to breathe and to love God and my life. And to be thankful=)
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
Prayer...
For some reason, praying has been on my mind heavily lately. I know it is something that should be on your mind but it has really hit home for me the last couple of weeks. When you " google " the word prayer.. all of this stuff comes up. I was trying to find a definition to put on here but I just wasnt satisfied. Its so long and complicated. To me prayer is simply talking to God. Something, Im sure, all of us could more of. Im guilty as charged because it something in my life that I definitely need and want to work on. With everything that has went on in the last few months and now being pregnant, I think I should.
My point is though, we shouldnt just pray in the hard times or when we or someone else needs something. We should praise him when our life seems to be doing okay. But for me, its just like when something else goes bad, I start praying. And on the days everything seems to be going good, I hardly even mutter a thank you. I should praise him everyday for just bringing me through what he did but then again I should pray every day. Once again, it shouldnt have taken something like that to make me want to pray.
Prayers are powerful and I will fight with anyone who tells me they arent. I wonder, on that first night I was in the hospital, how many prayers were being said. And not even on that first night but the whole time. Withou my faith and their prayers, I honestly dont know if I would even be sitting here right now. Prayers do work. For both the good and the bad. I tend to forget the feeling I get after I get done talking with God. If I am asking for strength, its just like this calmness comes over me and I know it is him with me.
The other thing I was thinking about was how many times do we tell someone we will pray for them and then we just brush it off? It seems to be common answer to anyone who is going through something tough. Whether we say it to them or their family or write in a card, its always like " My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time " Im guilty as the next person but I like to think that when I tell someone that, the least I can do is do it. I mean all of these people prayed for me so I know it works. I never doubted it but until you actually experience it, it doesnt really hit home.
Let me explain myself... I pray. I pray almost every day. I pray for me, my family, my friends and our country ( especially with the election coming up ) Prayer works in all different ways. I remember going through my divorce and feeling completely alone and just talking to God and I could almost feel his hand on me assuring me it was going to be okay. The same with everything else I have went through. Its THOSE times when I was like, wow.... you really are there. This may be coming out wrong but the best way I can explain it is.. I know God is with us each and every day through the good AND the bad. And I hate that it takes some people bad times to realize that praying is really important and a great way to build you relationship with God. But just like people say that they live one day a time and live like they are dying because they have almost died, prayer sort of goes that way. But it shouldnt be like that. We all should live each and every day to our fullest and talk to God and praise him for what he has done in our lives. And even if you have lived a perfect life, God has provided that for you. You wouldnt take something good from a stranger without telling them thank you would you?
Each day we live is a gift from God. We should use the gifts he has provided for us and thank him every day for what he did for us. He gave his only son. Sometimes saying thank you just doesnt seem like enough.
My point is though, we shouldnt just pray in the hard times or when we or someone else needs something. We should praise him when our life seems to be doing okay. But for me, its just like when something else goes bad, I start praying. And on the days everything seems to be going good, I hardly even mutter a thank you. I should praise him everyday for just bringing me through what he did but then again I should pray every day. Once again, it shouldnt have taken something like that to make me want to pray.
Prayers are powerful and I will fight with anyone who tells me they arent. I wonder, on that first night I was in the hospital, how many prayers were being said. And not even on that first night but the whole time. Withou my faith and their prayers, I honestly dont know if I would even be sitting here right now. Prayers do work. For both the good and the bad. I tend to forget the feeling I get after I get done talking with God. If I am asking for strength, its just like this calmness comes over me and I know it is him with me.
The other thing I was thinking about was how many times do we tell someone we will pray for them and then we just brush it off? It seems to be common answer to anyone who is going through something tough. Whether we say it to them or their family or write in a card, its always like " My thoughts and prayers are with you during this time " Im guilty as the next person but I like to think that when I tell someone that, the least I can do is do it. I mean all of these people prayed for me so I know it works. I never doubted it but until you actually experience it, it doesnt really hit home.
Let me explain myself... I pray. I pray almost every day. I pray for me, my family, my friends and our country ( especially with the election coming up ) Prayer works in all different ways. I remember going through my divorce and feeling completely alone and just talking to God and I could almost feel his hand on me assuring me it was going to be okay. The same with everything else I have went through. Its THOSE times when I was like, wow.... you really are there. This may be coming out wrong but the best way I can explain it is.. I know God is with us each and every day through the good AND the bad. And I hate that it takes some people bad times to realize that praying is really important and a great way to build you relationship with God. But just like people say that they live one day a time and live like they are dying because they have almost died, prayer sort of goes that way. But it shouldnt be like that. We all should live each and every day to our fullest and talk to God and praise him for what he has done in our lives. And even if you have lived a perfect life, God has provided that for you. You wouldnt take something good from a stranger without telling them thank you would you?
Each day we live is a gift from God. We should use the gifts he has provided for us and thank him every day for what he did for us. He gave his only son. Sometimes saying thank you just doesnt seem like enough.
Sunday, October 28, 2012
BoO!!!!
I never understood the point to Halloween movies... all they ever did for me was not so much give me nightmares but made me scared to even leave the bed I was in or the couch I was on. I can remember many nights running from the couch to my bed and covering my head in quilt just so I could get to sleep. I am a chicken when it comes to stuff like that, I will admit it.
I really just dont like the unexpected. Give me a movie of nothing but gore and I can handle it but give me a movie where people jump out all of the time and I lose it. I always joked and said someone could make a movie, with nothing but ordinary people, like you and me, in plain clothes and just have them jumping out behind things and I would scream. I guarantee you I would have a hard time getting out of my bed in the middle of the night without looking around and swearing I hear things in the house. Too bad my bladder makes me get up at the moment!
I think I am just too analytical when it comes to some of these movies. People always told me that you should be scared of the ones that could really happen and not the ones that are stupid but indeed scare me the most of all. You cant tell me that doll running around with a kitchen knife and kills people isnt going to scare you. The first time I even saw a scene from that was when I was little. It was sort of by accident. All of those shows come on around Halloween and I think I must have been flipping channels and there was it. And I actually remember having a conversation with my Kid Sister doll at the time. ( At this point, I did not know that the Chucky doll was based off the My Buddy doll, who I am guessing was Kid Sisters brother) I remember picking her up and telling her how much I loved playing with her but if she was going to kill me or anyone else, I would not be like that little kid. I would not continue to be her friend and I would have to do away with her. I dont think I ever played with her again after that night. And to come think about it. that may have given a doll reason to come to life... ooh Im glad I wasnt that smart back then!
And while we are on the stupidness of movies, why do people when getting chased always go to the one part of the house they cant escape. If I saw someone coming at me, my butt would be out that door and gone! I dont think I would go upstairs or into a closet or in a bathroom or downstairs where I couldnt get out. Thats what I mean by being too analytical. I just scream at the people for not thinking about it before they start to run. No matter where you hide, they are going to find you. And they are not going to have sympathy on you. They will kill you. So while you are sitting in that closet or bathroom waiting and praying not to be found, I am yelling at you through the screen. If you would have listened to me in the first place, you may be alive long enough to make at least 7 more sequels to the move you are in. I was watching the end of one of the Halloweens the other night ( yes like 5 minutes of it and I still freaked out trying to go to bed ) and the little girl hid in the attic in a coffin. Really? I guess you knew you were going to die so you go one and put yourself in a coffin? Geez people..
But I guess when it comes to the ultimate scary movie for me it has to be " It. " Why I have watched this, I will never know. I dont even know how I made it though it. Its a known fact that my sister and I are scared of clowns. This was waaay before I saw this movie. ( I dont even like Ronald McDonald! ) I remember not being able to ride my book past a storm drain and not go the other side of the road so his face wouldnt pop up with a balloon. And I couldnt look down the sink drain because I was afraid a balloon would pop up and burst with blood going everywhere. That move did it for me. Although the ending was pretty dumb, I cant watch even a minute of it to this day. I can take most Stephen King movies because a lot of them , now , are just dumb ( although Im pretty sure back then was creepy ).
So I hope everyone enjoys their Halloween and if you are into scary movies, then this is definitely your time of year! Happy Halloween everybody!
I really just dont like the unexpected. Give me a movie of nothing but gore and I can handle it but give me a movie where people jump out all of the time and I lose it. I always joked and said someone could make a movie, with nothing but ordinary people, like you and me, in plain clothes and just have them jumping out behind things and I would scream. I guarantee you I would have a hard time getting out of my bed in the middle of the night without looking around and swearing I hear things in the house. Too bad my bladder makes me get up at the moment!
I think I am just too analytical when it comes to some of these movies. People always told me that you should be scared of the ones that could really happen and not the ones that are stupid but indeed scare me the most of all. You cant tell me that doll running around with a kitchen knife and kills people isnt going to scare you. The first time I even saw a scene from that was when I was little. It was sort of by accident. All of those shows come on around Halloween and I think I must have been flipping channels and there was it. And I actually remember having a conversation with my Kid Sister doll at the time. ( At this point, I did not know that the Chucky doll was based off the My Buddy doll, who I am guessing was Kid Sisters brother) I remember picking her up and telling her how much I loved playing with her but if she was going to kill me or anyone else, I would not be like that little kid. I would not continue to be her friend and I would have to do away with her. I dont think I ever played with her again after that night. And to come think about it. that may have given a doll reason to come to life... ooh Im glad I wasnt that smart back then!
And while we are on the stupidness of movies, why do people when getting chased always go to the one part of the house they cant escape. If I saw someone coming at me, my butt would be out that door and gone! I dont think I would go upstairs or into a closet or in a bathroom or downstairs where I couldnt get out. Thats what I mean by being too analytical. I just scream at the people for not thinking about it before they start to run. No matter where you hide, they are going to find you. And they are not going to have sympathy on you. They will kill you. So while you are sitting in that closet or bathroom waiting and praying not to be found, I am yelling at you through the screen. If you would have listened to me in the first place, you may be alive long enough to make at least 7 more sequels to the move you are in. I was watching the end of one of the Halloweens the other night ( yes like 5 minutes of it and I still freaked out trying to go to bed ) and the little girl hid in the attic in a coffin. Really? I guess you knew you were going to die so you go one and put yourself in a coffin? Geez people..
But I guess when it comes to the ultimate scary movie for me it has to be " It. " Why I have watched this, I will never know. I dont even know how I made it though it. Its a known fact that my sister and I are scared of clowns. This was waaay before I saw this movie. ( I dont even like Ronald McDonald! ) I remember not being able to ride my book past a storm drain and not go the other side of the road so his face wouldnt pop up with a balloon. And I couldnt look down the sink drain because I was afraid a balloon would pop up and burst with blood going everywhere. That move did it for me. Although the ending was pretty dumb, I cant watch even a minute of it to this day. I can take most Stephen King movies because a lot of them , now , are just dumb ( although Im pretty sure back then was creepy ).
So I hope everyone enjoys their Halloween and if you are into scary movies, then this is definitely your time of year! Happy Halloween everybody!
Thursday, October 25, 2012
So the secret is out!
Yes, for those of you faithfully facebook followers and my family and my friends... I am in deed with child, have a bun in the oven, am preggo, am pregnant.. you get the point. Either way, I am super excited! Now it did take me a while to write this because I had so many emotions running through my head and this post would have been a mess. There have been bad emotions and good emotions. ( Its all good now though ). I do express myself a whole lot better when I write ( or type ) so this is for you and me in a way.
I first found out actually on my sister's birthday. I had a hunch but thought my body was still healing so maybe thats why I was late. After the first one came my faintly positive, I waited a couple of more days and then did 2 more which came out a little more positive. I immediately told Ramon and then that same morning I had my checkup with my infectious doctor. He added the HCG blood test to my regular test and the nurse called me and confirmed that I was indeed pregnant that afternoon. Long story short, my baby doctor did 2 more blood tests to make sure the numbers were doubling and they more than tripled! Great news! So our first ultrasound is on my mom's birthday which is November 5th. Im nervous because of everything I have went through but so far so good. Ramon is nervous as well but we are both counting down the days to make sure everything is good!
I am the most impatient person out there. I know the myth. You arent supposed to break the news until you are least past your first trimester. With Drew, I told everyone as soon as the stick turned positive. I think with your first one, you are just so happy that the myth sort of gets ignored. I remember a lot of friends telling people as soon as they peed on the stick! I think maybe you should wait just in case something does happen ( like my miscarriage in Jan ) however I dont think telling people beforehand is going to cause something to happen. So either way, we told. Ramon would have waited, but I couldnt keep it in anymore. Every morning that I woke up, I got more excited. My face was a tell tell that something was up. In fact, I tried to stay away from my parents even because they can read me like a book. Luckily they went to GA so I could hide it on Skype.. lol. I did tell my sister first and then my aunt and then he told his brother. Then from there, we waited and told the rest of the family ( parents included on the car home from GA.. maybe not such a good idea ) and then took a cute pic and announced it on Facebook=)
As far as reactions go.. there were quite a mix. Given that I had been so sick about 2 months ago, the thought of me carrying a life inside of me was quite a shock. Along with that shock came scared. Now dont get me wrong, I was scared too. Here I thought God had given me another chance at life and the fact though that he is given me a life to carry is just a miracle to me. I still believe that God never gives you anything that you can't handle. Was it a bad timing... yes. Was I scared at first.. yes. Was I shocked.. yes and all above. BUT am I happy now... yes. So for everyone who is doubting this I just have to believe that they will come around eventually. I know they will.. they have to. There is really nothing they or I can do about it.
So we just look forward to what God had given us and take each day at a time. I know he is there and will never leave us. In my time of doubts and fears is when I pray the most. However I pray each day that he takes care of not only my soon to be little one that he looks over my family as well and gives them the strength to face the future with us. We need all of the support we can get=)
Until next time..
=)
I first found out actually on my sister's birthday. I had a hunch but thought my body was still healing so maybe thats why I was late. After the first one came my faintly positive, I waited a couple of more days and then did 2 more which came out a little more positive. I immediately told Ramon and then that same morning I had my checkup with my infectious doctor. He added the HCG blood test to my regular test and the nurse called me and confirmed that I was indeed pregnant that afternoon. Long story short, my baby doctor did 2 more blood tests to make sure the numbers were doubling and they more than tripled! Great news! So our first ultrasound is on my mom's birthday which is November 5th. Im nervous because of everything I have went through but so far so good. Ramon is nervous as well but we are both counting down the days to make sure everything is good!
I am the most impatient person out there. I know the myth. You arent supposed to break the news until you are least past your first trimester. With Drew, I told everyone as soon as the stick turned positive. I think with your first one, you are just so happy that the myth sort of gets ignored. I remember a lot of friends telling people as soon as they peed on the stick! I think maybe you should wait just in case something does happen ( like my miscarriage in Jan ) however I dont think telling people beforehand is going to cause something to happen. So either way, we told. Ramon would have waited, but I couldnt keep it in anymore. Every morning that I woke up, I got more excited. My face was a tell tell that something was up. In fact, I tried to stay away from my parents even because they can read me like a book. Luckily they went to GA so I could hide it on Skype.. lol. I did tell my sister first and then my aunt and then he told his brother. Then from there, we waited and told the rest of the family ( parents included on the car home from GA.. maybe not such a good idea ) and then took a cute pic and announced it on Facebook=)
As far as reactions go.. there were quite a mix. Given that I had been so sick about 2 months ago, the thought of me carrying a life inside of me was quite a shock. Along with that shock came scared. Now dont get me wrong, I was scared too. Here I thought God had given me another chance at life and the fact though that he is given me a life to carry is just a miracle to me. I still believe that God never gives you anything that you can't handle. Was it a bad timing... yes. Was I scared at first.. yes. Was I shocked.. yes and all above. BUT am I happy now... yes. So for everyone who is doubting this I just have to believe that they will come around eventually. I know they will.. they have to. There is really nothing they or I can do about it.
So we just look forward to what God had given us and take each day at a time. I know he is there and will never leave us. In my time of doubts and fears is when I pray the most. However I pray each day that he takes care of not only my soon to be little one that he looks over my family as well and gives them the strength to face the future with us. We need all of the support we can get=)
Until next time..
=)
Friday, October 19, 2012
What to Write About...
I know , I know it has been a while. But I really have bombarded you all lately complaining about health and just common life issues, that I thought I would give you all a break. So the since last time I wrote, nothing new or big has happened. Just the same old, had another surgery, put another stent in, and still with the PICC line and on meds. Work is going great and everything else seems to finally be falling into place. God is really working in our little family and I love seeing it each and everyday. Don't get me wrong, things arent perfect and they never will be, but finally I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I have my doctors appt on Tuesday with my infectious doctor and hopefully I will end the medicine and get this line out. Then, I really will see the light!
I guess the big thing everything is talking about is the election. I try not to get into this. I know who I am voting for and I vote every year. I know why I am voting the way I am but other than that, I am probably the most non political person I know. ( Im voting for Romney, so there ya go ) I have watched all of the debates and tried to listen to the issues that effect me and my family the most. Its not really going to sway my vote but its nice to hear what they plan on doing.
One thing I will say on the election note is though the one thing I cant stand is after the election, the way people still bash the person who won. I did not vote for Obama and I really did not like it when he won, however, I still respect that position. I didnt say that I respect him that much or his stance on certain issues, but I still pray for him and our country's leadership. Whether I liked it or not, he was going to be leading my country for the next 4 years ( hopefully that will be it ) and even though I disagree, I still pray and have to live with the decision he makes. It does nobody any good to make bumper stickers or post all over Facebook how their nominee was the best choice and then bash the person that one. For one, if you didnt vote, I dont think you have the right to say anything and two, its over. Saying bad things about the other people just make you look bad and says a lot about your attitude and personality. And personally, I dont think the other candidates would like to think that you are somehow representing them. But Im getting off of this horse.. dont judge me.. its just my opinion.
I am starting to make my Master To Do List and do this overhaul of our house. I had actually started it before I got sick and just didnt make it very far. When I get in this mood though, ( the if I havent seen it and I find it and havent used it, its get thrown away or sold or donated mood ) I can usually get it done pretty quick. Drew is so cute helping me too. I usually have piles or boxes or bags or something I put things in. Only problem is, he will put them in there and then decide that he does need it and keeps it. I have found stuff tucked away in the garage or his play room or his room when all along I thought I got rid of it. His toy room does need a haul over but of course as much as he says he doensnt play with something anymore and he wants to donate them, he will decide of course that he does play with it. So that will get done when hes not around. I love the fact that the people that lived here before us, never parked their car in the garage and its clean so it makes a perfect playroom=)
Other than that, everything is good.. I will write soon!
I guess the big thing everything is talking about is the election. I try not to get into this. I know who I am voting for and I vote every year. I know why I am voting the way I am but other than that, I am probably the most non political person I know. ( Im voting for Romney, so there ya go ) I have watched all of the debates and tried to listen to the issues that effect me and my family the most. Its not really going to sway my vote but its nice to hear what they plan on doing.
One thing I will say on the election note is though the one thing I cant stand is after the election, the way people still bash the person who won. I did not vote for Obama and I really did not like it when he won, however, I still respect that position. I didnt say that I respect him that much or his stance on certain issues, but I still pray for him and our country's leadership. Whether I liked it or not, he was going to be leading my country for the next 4 years ( hopefully that will be it ) and even though I disagree, I still pray and have to live with the decision he makes. It does nobody any good to make bumper stickers or post all over Facebook how their nominee was the best choice and then bash the person that one. For one, if you didnt vote, I dont think you have the right to say anything and two, its over. Saying bad things about the other people just make you look bad and says a lot about your attitude and personality. And personally, I dont think the other candidates would like to think that you are somehow representing them. But Im getting off of this horse.. dont judge me.. its just my opinion.
I am starting to make my Master To Do List and do this overhaul of our house. I had actually started it before I got sick and just didnt make it very far. When I get in this mood though, ( the if I havent seen it and I find it and havent used it, its get thrown away or sold or donated mood ) I can usually get it done pretty quick. Drew is so cute helping me too. I usually have piles or boxes or bags or something I put things in. Only problem is, he will put them in there and then decide that he does need it and keeps it. I have found stuff tucked away in the garage or his play room or his room when all along I thought I got rid of it. His toy room does need a haul over but of course as much as he says he doensnt play with something anymore and he wants to donate them, he will decide of course that he does play with it. So that will get done when hes not around. I love the fact that the people that lived here before us, never parked their car in the garage and its clean so it makes a perfect playroom=)
Other than that, everything is good.. I will write soon!
Sunday, October 7, 2012
Reality TV
So I cant sleep.. again big surprise! So as I am laying in bed trying to get to sleep, my mind starts acting up again. How did people get along without DVR? Its funny because I remember my mom used to have to tape everything and set the time on the vcr. And if we missed a show, we just did. Now its we forgot to set the DVR so we missed a show. Oh well.. theres always Hulu and the channels website it came on. But tv back then was sooo much better, ever without the fancy equipment. I remember TGIF and sitcoms like " Full House", "Step By Step" and " Boy Meets World. Even after they were done there are to this day repeats that they show. ( I know Boy Meets World did because I practically watched every episode and yes I still cry on the episode ) Now we are filled with sitcoms about stuff that I wouldnt dare let Drew watch. Which gets me to tonight's topic : Realty TV
Seriously? I think that is half of my DVR recordings if not more at times. I dont really count things like cooking shows. But I do Keep up with the Kardashians, And anything on TLC.. And some other shows. But that is all people talk about these days. I bet you could come up with an original idea for reality tv, some hot shot would go along with it and you would have made money. I really cant think of any subject that is not covered realty tv in some matter.
Randomness.... why is it every pen in front of me has dried up? So annoying...=)
And we pour our heart and soul to the people on these shows. Then we feel like we know them personaly.
( Dont You ) So when something bad happens, you feel liek you have experienced it as well. With the ratings though, they look they are here to stay and all a couple more in before the end of the year. But back to the DVR, Im thankful for it=) And so is my son who can watch his shows anytime!
=)
Seriously? I think that is half of my DVR recordings if not more at times. I dont really count things like cooking shows. But I do Keep up with the Kardashians, And anything on TLC.. And some other shows. But that is all people talk about these days. I bet you could come up with an original idea for reality tv, some hot shot would go along with it and you would have made money. I really cant think of any subject that is not covered realty tv in some matter.
Randomness.... why is it every pen in front of me has dried up? So annoying...=)
And we pour our heart and soul to the people on these shows. Then we feel like we know them personaly.
( Dont You ) So when something bad happens, you feel liek you have experienced it as well. With the ratings though, they look they are here to stay and all a couple more in before the end of the year. But back to the DVR, Im thankful for it=) And so is my son who can watch his shows anytime!
=)
Sleeping Beauty.. Minus the Sleeping
A natural periodic state of rest for the mind and body, in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli. During sleep the brain in humans and other mammals undergoes a characteristic cycle of brain-wave activity that includes intervals of dreaming.
That is the definition of sleep. Only I have not known that in quite sometime. There is nothing worse that laying in the bed tossing and turning ( especially when your husband is snoring so loudly!! ) and trying to get some sleep. I envy those who can just lay down at night and conk out. Did I miss something? Did my body miss that message that says.. hey when it gets dark outside and Im laying flat that mean go to sleep! Oh if I only could trade in my body with someone who is healthy. ( Although I can tell you what sitcoms are on and what times )
Random thought-- did you notice the name of this blog and my name is MusicalBAG? Huh.. a bag that is musical! ( Sorry )
So this non sleepiness has had me tired the last couple of days. And I am ready for it to be over with.
2nd Ramon thought - Ramon just read my last post and he claims he did not hijack the tv and he was not chicken... Read the previous post and you will get this. ( Sorry 2x )
And I as I lay there in bed, I start thinking about all of these random things. I mean random and weird. And they will bug me until I just let it go. For example, how did we become so addicted to Facebook? ( Guilty as charged ) Dont get me wrong, I love it. I just cant go a day without looking at the status updates. It can be good, it can be bad and get you in some trouble. I can actually follow some peoples' days from start to finish, what they did, where they went, how their day was and all of their meals they ate. While that is interesting enough, is there really a need for that? One thing I like about it though is that it is a good way of staying in touch with friends and family I have relatives that live out of town so its nice to see their posts and pictures. I do post status updates but they usually have sense to them. One other good thing is that though while I was in the hospital with that infection, my sister and Ramon kept everyone updated through Facebook. It saved them a lot of phone calls and test messages.
Random thought - I HATE restless legs and once again something else that keeps me up. ( Sorry 3x )
The sad part is that I have been on Facebook so long, ( since 2005 ) that I still log in with my EKU email. And status updates or apps didnt really exist. It was strictly finding friends and looking at their pics and what they are doing now. It has come a loong way. Some of the best things to read though is when someone posts something maybe a little controversial and then you get a fight back and forth either agreeing or disagreeing with the post. This time of year is bad for that due to the Presidential Election coming up. Its good to read though and get both sides to the story..
Speaking of politics.. no Im not gonna write a page and tell why I am voting the way I am. I am Republican so that should give you hint. And I will go vote. But the commercials have go to go. Thank goodness for DVR. I wish they would just say what their plans are instead of bashing the other. And I am not talking about just the President part but the local parts as well. I just have to pray that the nation will make a good decision. No matter who wins, I will still pray for them. I hold an utterly high respect for people in power. Democrat or Republican. Once that decision is made,people just need to accept it and pray for them. Our country is probably not in the best shape across the board but we cant blame anyone for that. ( Dont you remember, the President really has no power anyhow! ) May the best candidate win and God lead us as a nation to make that decision.
So I know this is probably long winded but I am trying to fight my restless legs ( yes they are bad ) And I am enjoying the peace and quiet in our office. So I am going to leave you with a couple more random thoughts. =)
1. Why do we search for the tv remote for hours sometimes when we could just get up and change the channel ourselves? ( Although, most people couldnt do this because they have satellite or some sort of cable that only changes the tv and then you have to figure out which channel you had it on.. and while you are doing this Im sure the remote control is hiding laughing at you )
2. Why am I the only one in the household that will clean out the " guts " inside of a pumpkin? Drew and Ramon both wont touch it. So I get the lovely job of doing it.
3. I am a sparatic cleaner. For example , I will start picking up Drew's toys from the living room and take them to his playroom or bedroom. And then I will start cleaning that room that I am in although I havent finished that other room. I figure I have something out of place in every room so eventually every room will be cleaned even if it is spurts.
4. Why does my son love to scrub toilets? He gets so mad when I clean them and he did get to. Im such a bad mom =)
5. What is the use if ragweed> Just to annoy me I guess. This is the only time of year that I cant stay outside but for maybe an hour ( or shorter ) We can get rid of that. Thank you.
That is the definition of sleep. Only I have not known that in quite sometime. There is nothing worse that laying in the bed tossing and turning ( especially when your husband is snoring so loudly!! ) and trying to get some sleep. I envy those who can just lay down at night and conk out. Did I miss something? Did my body miss that message that says.. hey when it gets dark outside and Im laying flat that mean go to sleep! Oh if I only could trade in my body with someone who is healthy. ( Although I can tell you what sitcoms are on and what times )
Random thought-- did you notice the name of this blog and my name is MusicalBAG? Huh.. a bag that is musical! ( Sorry )
So this non sleepiness has had me tired the last couple of days. And I am ready for it to be over with.
2nd Ramon thought - Ramon just read my last post and he claims he did not hijack the tv and he was not chicken... Read the previous post and you will get this. ( Sorry 2x )
And I as I lay there in bed, I start thinking about all of these random things. I mean random and weird. And they will bug me until I just let it go. For example, how did we become so addicted to Facebook? ( Guilty as charged ) Dont get me wrong, I love it. I just cant go a day without looking at the status updates. It can be good, it can be bad and get you in some trouble. I can actually follow some peoples' days from start to finish, what they did, where they went, how their day was and all of their meals they ate. While that is interesting enough, is there really a need for that? One thing I like about it though is that it is a good way of staying in touch with friends and family I have relatives that live out of town so its nice to see their posts and pictures. I do post status updates but they usually have sense to them. One other good thing is that though while I was in the hospital with that infection, my sister and Ramon kept everyone updated through Facebook. It saved them a lot of phone calls and test messages.
Random thought - I HATE restless legs and once again something else that keeps me up. ( Sorry 3x )
The sad part is that I have been on Facebook so long, ( since 2005 ) that I still log in with my EKU email. And status updates or apps didnt really exist. It was strictly finding friends and looking at their pics and what they are doing now. It has come a loong way. Some of the best things to read though is when someone posts something maybe a little controversial and then you get a fight back and forth either agreeing or disagreeing with the post. This time of year is bad for that due to the Presidential Election coming up. Its good to read though and get both sides to the story..
Speaking of politics.. no Im not gonna write a page and tell why I am voting the way I am. I am Republican so that should give you hint. And I will go vote. But the commercials have go to go. Thank goodness for DVR. I wish they would just say what their plans are instead of bashing the other. And I am not talking about just the President part but the local parts as well. I just have to pray that the nation will make a good decision. No matter who wins, I will still pray for them. I hold an utterly high respect for people in power. Democrat or Republican. Once that decision is made,people just need to accept it and pray for them. Our country is probably not in the best shape across the board but we cant blame anyone for that. ( Dont you remember, the President really has no power anyhow! ) May the best candidate win and God lead us as a nation to make that decision.
So I know this is probably long winded but I am trying to fight my restless legs ( yes they are bad ) And I am enjoying the peace and quiet in our office. So I am going to leave you with a couple more random thoughts. =)
1. Why do we search for the tv remote for hours sometimes when we could just get up and change the channel ourselves? ( Although, most people couldnt do this because they have satellite or some sort of cable that only changes the tv and then you have to figure out which channel you had it on.. and while you are doing this Im sure the remote control is hiding laughing at you )
2. Why am I the only one in the household that will clean out the " guts " inside of a pumpkin? Drew and Ramon both wont touch it. So I get the lovely job of doing it.
3. I am a sparatic cleaner. For example , I will start picking up Drew's toys from the living room and take them to his playroom or bedroom. And then I will start cleaning that room that I am in although I havent finished that other room. I figure I have something out of place in every room so eventually every room will be cleaned even if it is spurts.
4. Why does my son love to scrub toilets? He gets so mad when I clean them and he did get to. Im such a bad mom =)
5. What is the use if ragweed> Just to annoy me I guess. This is the only time of year that I cant stay outside but for maybe an hour ( or shorter ) We can get rid of that. Thank you.
How Did I Get Here?
I guess it's sort of unfair to start a blog without telling how I got here. I think my whole blog started with me almost dying. Thats great LOL.
So how did my wonderful journey start? Well on June 12, 1982 I was born to a wonderful set of parents here in the lovely town of Winchester. Oh yea and my older sis. I was blessed to grow up with a big loving family and I am forever thankful for them.
My life was pretty tame and it stayed that way up until about 2007. I was married in 2005 to my high school sweetheart and then in in June 2007 found out we were pregnant. On December 11 2007 I gave birth to my son Andrew Christopher Frasure. Yes he was early. Really early. I had some complications and Drew also wasnt growing as he should have. As you can see in the pics from the earlier posts, he was a huge whoppin 3lbs 1 oz. Actually got down to under 3 lbs at one point.He stayed in the NICU and was released one day before he turned a month old. We went over on care times and helped do everything for him. He is my little miracle=) Now you cant tell he was that tiny when he was born.
Now the hard part... after getting back home, I got some um.. well .. news about my husband ( then ). Lets just say we have every right to get divorced according to the Bible. If you know me, you know what I am talking about. This is a time in my life that I will not ever forget but also have no regrets. I put in soo much time and energy to save or marriage but he was done. So after about a year, our divorce was final. I went through so much crap during that time though. Most of the time when this happens to a couple, they split and dont ever talk anymore, but in my case we had a child and he is a good father so I still had to see him. Some days I just wanted to hit him, other days I just wanted him back. I think, though, right after filing the papers, it all started to look up. I didnt need or want him if he didnt want the same thing.
Now the happy part... Ramon and I had crushes on each other during 4th and 5th grades. I played basketball where his stepfather coached so I still got to see him some even though we didnt go to the same middle school. I also saw him at some family functions because his cousin and me were best friends. So I sang at weddings and help throw wedding and baby showers. About December he sent a friend request through Facebook. ( I would find out later this was only because he was too chicken to ask me in the first place NOT over Facebook.. ha ha .. ) So on January 9 we had our first date and then the rest is history. We got engaged on May 24 and then went to Las Vegas Sept 5 and got married ( no we didnt elope, it was planned )
Looking back, I didnt know why God was doing what he did. It hurt so bad. But now I have a husband who loves me unconditionally no matter what and I love him just the same. He is great other father figure in Drew's life and that was and still is the most important thing. It was hard to bring someone in that Drew didnt know. Luckily he caught on real quick and Ramon has a true deep love for him as well.
I wouldnt change a thing. I wish I could go back and tell myself that everything was working in God's time. I just wanted it to happen before he did. My ex and get along and I consider him a friend. For Drew's sake it is best we keep a neutral ground with each other.
So now I sit here in the office ( as Ramon as hijaked the tv with Transformers : Dark Moon ) ( And yes he has seen it a thousand times ) ( And no I dont care for it ) I think about how lucky and blessed I am. I feel like I have been given a second chance at life ( after my little infection stunt.. okay so not so little ) It is true what they say, you should live every day as if it was your last. Im trying=) And I have a great support system to make sure that I am.
=)
So how did my wonderful journey start? Well on June 12, 1982 I was born to a wonderful set of parents here in the lovely town of Winchester. Oh yea and my older sis. I was blessed to grow up with a big loving family and I am forever thankful for them.
My life was pretty tame and it stayed that way up until about 2007. I was married in 2005 to my high school sweetheart and then in in June 2007 found out we were pregnant. On December 11 2007 I gave birth to my son Andrew Christopher Frasure. Yes he was early. Really early. I had some complications and Drew also wasnt growing as he should have. As you can see in the pics from the earlier posts, he was a huge whoppin 3lbs 1 oz. Actually got down to under 3 lbs at one point.He stayed in the NICU and was released one day before he turned a month old. We went over on care times and helped do everything for him. He is my little miracle=) Now you cant tell he was that tiny when he was born.
Now the hard part... after getting back home, I got some um.. well .. news about my husband ( then ). Lets just say we have every right to get divorced according to the Bible. If you know me, you know what I am talking about. This is a time in my life that I will not ever forget but also have no regrets. I put in soo much time and energy to save or marriage but he was done. So after about a year, our divorce was final. I went through so much crap during that time though. Most of the time when this happens to a couple, they split and dont ever talk anymore, but in my case we had a child and he is a good father so I still had to see him. Some days I just wanted to hit him, other days I just wanted him back. I think, though, right after filing the papers, it all started to look up. I didnt need or want him if he didnt want the same thing.
Now the happy part... Ramon and I had crushes on each other during 4th and 5th grades. I played basketball where his stepfather coached so I still got to see him some even though we didnt go to the same middle school. I also saw him at some family functions because his cousin and me were best friends. So I sang at weddings and help throw wedding and baby showers. About December he sent a friend request through Facebook. ( I would find out later this was only because he was too chicken to ask me in the first place NOT over Facebook.. ha ha .. ) So on January 9 we had our first date and then the rest is history. We got engaged on May 24 and then went to Las Vegas Sept 5 and got married ( no we didnt elope, it was planned )
Looking back, I didnt know why God was doing what he did. It hurt so bad. But now I have a husband who loves me unconditionally no matter what and I love him just the same. He is great other father figure in Drew's life and that was and still is the most important thing. It was hard to bring someone in that Drew didnt know. Luckily he caught on real quick and Ramon has a true deep love for him as well.
I wouldnt change a thing. I wish I could go back and tell myself that everything was working in God's time. I just wanted it to happen before he did. My ex and get along and I consider him a friend. For Drew's sake it is best we keep a neutral ground with each other.
So now I sit here in the office ( as Ramon as hijaked the tv with Transformers : Dark Moon ) ( And yes he has seen it a thousand times ) ( And no I dont care for it ) I think about how lucky and blessed I am. I feel like I have been given a second chance at life ( after my little infection stunt.. okay so not so little ) It is true what they say, you should live every day as if it was your last. Im trying=) And I have a great support system to make sure that I am.
=)
Friday, September 21, 2012
I DID find love and my first came this one...
These are the loves my lives!! I will tell you where it all began shortly....
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