Complain much?

It seems like all I have done lately is complain. Really, I think I have whined about everything here lately.. if not to the public to myself at least. If its not one thing its the next. This whole being in the hospital being sick thing did not work well for me. In fact, if anything it has made our lives bad. Cutting my hours at work was the first tip of the iceburg. I was already worried because I was off of work for so long and even when I went back, I have had to miss because of doctors appts or just being sick. I am soo lucky and blessed to work in such a place that they are understanding and they treat me like Im me and not just an employee. I have had so many members email or come to me and be like we are so glad to see you and have you back. That does make me smile. You never know how much you are appreciated until something bad happens.  I try to make it a point in my day to day operation of life to tell someone thank you or just make them smile for once. For example, there is PA at my infectious doctors office who always comes to see me when Im there. She is probably one of the sweetest people I have ever met. She read over my chart and she said she cant believe Im still alive. And then week after week she would sneak again ahead of another PA just so she could see me and see how I was doing. After the grueling iv's trys today and the shot, she was standing there doing some work. I stopped by and said hi but told her how great I thought she was. She told me ever since she heard my story and met me, she has me on her prayer list and not a day goes by that she doesnt check on me. It gives me goosebumps just to think about it. She gave me a hug today and told me everything was going to be okay. It was just like she knew I was bother by stuff.. and me losing my PICC line was not helping anything. Its people like that I will always remember. 
Anyhow, back to me whining. My grandmother started writing down her earlier memories in a notepad. Basically starting at a really young age. I read it I think in about an hour or faster. It was so interesting but so heart wrenching at the same time. I love my nanny more than anything and some of the things she had to go through broke my heart. It really made me think some of the things I am so whiny about these days is nothing, I mean NOTHING compared to what they went through. Im not saying it is all bad but I should be thankful for what we have. I just want to kick myself sometimes for complaining about things when we all have it easy compared to some people these days. 
I do have to admit I have been through so many things that people my age shouldnt have experienced but I have. And I am still standing to talk about it. I mean being divorced and having to face death and Im only 30 are two pretty big things that some people never have to deal with. I dont know why God put me through any of it but slowly, day by day, I am learning. I wouldnt have Ramon or be this happy or know what love and marriage truly meant if I hadnt been cheated on. I wouldnt have started appreciating things the way I do if I hadnt been so sick. And yes it also has its drawbacks. I dont get to see my son 7 days a week. Money wise, we are struggling. Job wise, I hope I still have one in a month. But those are things that God can help us with. With the good comes the bad. These I just have to accept. This past week at church, we studied about Abraham. Faith. Thats what I have to have. Trust and know that he is taking care of everything and I have to stand on that promise day by day. Ramon has more faith than me at the moment. I am having the hardest time not blaming myself for all for this. I know that God will not leave my side but Ramon has promised me he isnt either. I know God gave me and Drew him for situations like this. He really will never know how thankful I am for him and how much I love him and appreciate him for everything. 
So as for my whining, I cant promise it will stop but I do have to have stand back and just know that God is on it. Hes got this. And until then, I have to have the faith that we will be okay. I am going to be okay. I am only 30 after all....