Things that cease to amaze me

If I made this into a list it would go on and on for a while. So as you can tell this is not going to be a "sad" post but rather a " what the crap?!??!" list. You know I will never understand why Ramon did what he did. And I will never get that answer. Its funny that every time I tell someone, the first thing they say is he cheated. Now I don't want to assume anything but when you don't get a response it sort of leaves you to make up your own mind.
And it also ceases to amaze me how he can go from loving me to hating me within one day. I am trying so hard to ignore his familiy's threats, his " going off and telling his lawyer " everything and the fact that he couldn't even look me in the eye last week. Something has had to happen and I think as a wife I deserve to know. Otherwise Im gonna come up with my own reason and Im sure it would be totally different than the real reason but I will never know. So at this point, Im trying to forgive whatever he has done and forget at the same time. I am not going to let this ruin my life. I just want this to be over and done. And really at this point, I could care less what he and his family think. They never liked me anyways so now this just gives them more opportunity to make my life miserable.
What husband would do that? Even if you didn't want to be married anymore.. isn't there something inside of him that says, hey I still care enough to talk to her and tell my family to back down. But no. So now instead of crying because Im sad, Im crying because Im so angry that the man I was in love with and unfortunately still am, is watching me have these people threaten me and is okay with me being so miserable over all of this. He doenst care. What happened to the man Im married? The man who was crazy over me for years before  we even got back together? What happened? And I cant ask him because I get no answer and if I try to contact him then it goes against me.
I don't want to hate him. And it has taken prayer and reading the Bible to get me through this. All I can do is bury my thoughts into God and know he can handle this. It so unfair though. To think that he is sitting there laughing and reading this and feeling happy that I am still sort of sad, frightens me. It scares me for him. Because that is NOT him. It scares me for the man he has become. He was such a wonderful man. And now, he's not. I don't know why he's so scared to talked to me. I don't know anything anymore. All I know is Im not gonna let him and this define me.
So this was my rant. Hopefully it will be  my last!