So how many of you made New Years Resolutions? How many of you have kept them? How many have not? This is not a post to make you feel bad or not to say you won't keep them. This is my post to say my new years resolution is. notta. Zilch. Nothing. Not to say there are things I do want to see happen, but I have a hard time facing failure. Simply put, there are days when thats all I can see. So why would I want to say to myself that Im going to do this and then tell a bunch of people the same thing. And in a couple of days, weeks, months or whenever the time frame be, tell the same people. including myself, that I had indeed not kept it, or failed. I just do not want to set myself up something that I am not sure I can keep. Now yes there are some great ones out there. And there are def reachable ones. But they can become stuff I strive for. They can become goals but I don't set a deadline. Deadlines just pressure me and then I tend not to do them. Like when someone is yelling at me to do something then and now, I just all of a sudden don't want to do it. And the more its repeated the more I rebel. I have always been like that. I dont like doing things when people tell me to do them. I feel like they have no faith in me to get stuff done without being told constantly. So in return, I don't do it. Then after a time passes. I will get this sudden burst of okay I am now going to do it. And I will. I just dont like pressure. I dont like being pushed to do stuff when I know Im capable. This gives me no chance to prove to anyone I am first of an adult and second of all that I dont have to be reminded thirty thousand times in the span of 10 minutes that something is waiting on me. I have eyes and ears and senses. I can see that. I don't know if its a part of me I will ever be able just to lay aside and do it but until then, even when myself is yelling at myself, its just in one ear and out the other. Now to me, doing it before being told would be the correct thing. I know that. And yes its something I need to work on. Point being, this is an ongoing thing and a goal I can set for myself. But I will not call it a New Years resolution. That would be a hard one to explain anyhow lol. Everyone has the common ones. Where yes I have those too but again, I dont set it in my head or even in my planners as a set date and time that I want it to be done.
Patience. It is something I lack. I have patience for stranger things but I do not have patience when it comes it comes to life in general. I mean, who really does? How many times a day do you get frustrated because you have to wait on something. Even as small as your phone to charge or your coffee to be ready. When you stop and think about it, patience is a virtue many of us lack. Mine goes into deeper territory as in when is my life finally going to get into order. And Im inpatient over things I cannot control. But when you stop and think about past things that you have waited for, then it seems to be worth the wait. But its only until after those things come back that you can truly say that. And while you are waiting, we just have to believe that the timing is somehow making things come together. That certain things have to happen before the final product is ready. And sometimes these things can and will take longer than we like. Its just life. And something we have to accept. I dont like it. I dont want to accept it but if life is teaching me anything it is def patience. But I can also say that I think the lesson has gone on long enough and Im ready now. LOL.
To those of you who have set a New Years Resolution, I hope you keep it and meet it. And for those like me, maybe you can find something to try and reach for and finally get it. And maybe your patience will pay off. And hopefully 2018 will be much better than 2017 and the years before that.
BA
No comments:
Post a Comment